30 Days Hath September...

Yep, tomorrow is the 1st day of September. Where in the world did summer go??  I miss it already.




With a new season comes a BIG change in routine around our house.  This year and the next couple will be filled with kiddo's starting school. It is all bittersweet.  I love watching my girls grow up but at the same time yearn for them to stay little.

So, since I just want to add more to my already crazy plate, (seriously, it should slow down once school starts.) I am adding a few things onto my plate for the month of September.  Good things.  Things I hope will help me out in the long run and keep my from going any further on the "crazy train".

The first thing I'm going to do is blog more.  Blogging unloads my mind and really helps with the daily grind of things. It also helps me share with others what I go through on a daily basis having a child with Type 1 Diabetes.  I want to educate people to the realities and I really feel blogging is a good way to do that.

So for the next 30 days, I am going to make it a goal to blog EVERY DAY!  Hopefully, you will not get sick of hearing from me!

I just want to open people up into my world for a month and let them see what we go through.  I will try to keep it interesting.  I promise.  But I can't promise that it will all be "pretty" because my life just isn't pretty all the time.

So sit back, relax, and bring on the month of September!!

My Crazy Life

To say that my life is crazy right now, would be an understatement.

There are just so many things going on, my heart and mind are having a hard time keeping up. I'm constantly exhausted (as so many D-Moms are) both mentally and physically.

Start Rant:
Everything I do seems gets some opposition.  Nothing comes easily anymore.  My stress level is through the roof.  I apparently tick every one off and I'm tired.  I'm tired of being nice and sitting back and doing nothing.  Problem is right now, all my energy goes into Lovebug's diabetes care, my hubby and kids.  I don't have energy left to "deal" with anything else.

I want to be there for my friends when they need me.  I am starting to get selfish, and I don't like it.  It is starting to be all about me and Lovebug.  That isn't who I am, I am the person who no matter what helps people out on a dime.  I would do anything for a friend.  (well within reason, of course!)  I am fiercely loyal.  Yet I feel like sticking my head in the sand and telling everyone to mind their own business.

This is SO not me!!!  and it is making me *&% MAD!!!  I want to do the right thing, but again, it's hard when everyone seems to be working against you.  I want to be the better person, but how does one do that and still come out without looking like a pushover?
End Rant.

So, I guess you could say that I need a break.  I need to eat my own words and lay it all down at His feet and let Him worry about it.

So, that is what I will do each and every day, even if I don't feel any better and my stress level doesn't go down.

I have to, because without my faith, I would have NOTHING.  I would be an even bigger mess.  (if that is even possible!)

I have to so that I can be the best wife, mother and friend possible because that IS ME.  The woman who strives to be the best in everything she does.  No. Matter. What.

TOO SWEET!

Are you ready for a GIVE A WAY!!!  

Well, sorry to disappoint you, but there isn't one here.  

BUT there is one  very SWEET one over at Hallie's Blog!  

So, what are you still doing here?  

Go over and check it out!!!  

Pure Ignorance

I got physically ill reading this....

my head is about to explode!

This is VERY Important! 

Please read it  Now.  

A fellow blogger and D-Mom, Nicole, who lives in Canada posted THIS on her blog.

Nobody should have to go through this.
I don't care what country you live in.

Doin' the Happy Dance!

Mamma's doin' the Happy Dance tonight!!  

And you wanna know WHY?  

Well, after countless days of

banging my head into walls.....

stressing.....

worrying....

thinking that sometimes I couldn't take it even one more minute.....

I did something AWESOME!

Yes, I said AWESOME!!!

I know, I know, I am bragging. 

But, you know what.....

I CAN DO THAT!!!!

Because......

In just 3...

Yes, just 3 short months  

(and NO they did not seem short)

I 

Wait for it.....

Wanna know? 

Do I have you on the edge of you seat yet????

LOWERED  Lovebug's A1C from 8.7 to.....

7.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is not a single mom out there tonight that is more happy then I am!   

So, I will brag, just this once..... 

Makeover Time!

So, I guess I had to jump on the bandwagon, just a little this time.

I hope you like the new "makeover" for Sweet to the Soul. 

Now, if I could just get a makeover for ME! 

Bath Time

As I was getting  love bug out of the tub last night I was drying her off and realized I didn't have to "be careful" around any of her sites.  She was unhooked from Dexie and from her pump. Sites had been taken out to be changed and I decided to let her be "free" for a while. 

Then it hit me, she was the "old"  love bug again.  The one before diabetes.  I had a quick flash back to the way things used to be, simple and carefree.

The days when she didn't have to wear a pump pouch around her waist or have a pump site on her cute little bottom. When she wasn't hooked up to a machine to keep her alive. The days when I didn't worry about her so much.  Back when I didn't have to poke those cute little fingers 10 times a day. When I didn't have to watch everything she put into her little mouth.  When she didn't have Dexie on her arm all the time. Back when I only took her to the doctor for her well-child check-ups. When I didn't have to get up numerous times a night checking her bg or waking up with that sudden feeling that something is wrong. When I didn't worry every morning that she might not wake up because of a low blood sugar in the middle of the night. The days when I didn't have to sit and figure out if her carb ratio's are right or if I need to lower or raise her basal rate.  When I didn't wonder what caused that high or low blood sugar, the one that came out of the blue, then wonder if she is getting sick.  The days when every time she did get sick, I didn't have to wonder if it was going to end up with a hospital visit. 

Those sweet days when diabetes didn't stop us from going places and doing things.  When diabetes didn't interrupt our lives everyday and force us to change our plans.  Back when I didn't have to carry her "diabetes bag" with her supplies in it, everywhere we go, just in case.  When my hubby and I could go out and leave the kids with no worries of phone calls interrupting our evening. 

I held back tears. For the first time in over a year, I let myself remember what life was like before.  Before diabetes. It was so nice to hug her and not feel the pump pouch or Dexie on her arm.  For a moment, she was my diabetes free love bug.

Who knew bath time could bring on such emotions? 

Hope

It's hard, life goes from good to bad and back again in a matter of minutes.  Your emotions are on a roller coaster 24/7.  You are constantly problem solving, changing and adapting.  Just when you think you have things figured out, then it throws you another "curve ball".  You guess and debate with yourself all the time. 

You are sleep deprived and cranky.  Yet you have a "facade", of course you say things are good when they really aren't.  Some days you just don't want to explain it all and others, well, it would be just too much for the "average" person to take in. Seriously, there are days you just DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.  There are days I wish I didn't know. Days I wish I didn't live with it.  That I could just get away for ONE day and forget about it.  I can't. That's my reality. It's always there and it will never leave. 

Some would say it never takes a vacation.  In reality, it never lets ME take a vacation.  Not a real one anyway. Never again will I be able to go and relax and just "forget" about life for a couple days.  It will always be in the back of my mind.  I want others to be knowledgeable about it. I want to educate people, but  how can I expect that when it is constantly changing.  Constantly making me change. 

It has made me learn things about myself  I never knew.  It has forced me to do things I never thought were possible. It has brought me closer to my faith and made me question it at the same time.  Question why us, why now? What is Your purpose?  It has helped me learn to trust and lean on others when I need it. 

From now on, I will always have to be the "nosy" mom that has to say "no" to a lot of things. I will have to "approve" parents before any fun can be had.  They will have know it. They must know what to look for and how to take care of it.  Yet, how can I expect others to help me control it, when I know what it takes to control? How can I show them what life is really like with it? 

I can't. There just is no way to show them. Sure, they can get a glimpse of it.  They can be sympathetic and understanding.  To those people, I salute you! Words will never be able to express what that means to me. It takes great courage and effort to even learn a fraction of what I know. It is true what they say, that you will never really understand until you live with it.  Until it is there staring you in the face everyday.  But then there isn't a person in this world I would wish it on.  I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy.  It breaks my heart every time I hear of another child that is diagnosed with it. 

Despite everything, I have HOPE.  I have HOPE in technology that will help make life better.  I have HOPE in the people that are working so hard to find a cure.  I have HOPE that someday my daughter will be able to say that she "USED to have it"  

I have to have HOPE because without it, I have nothing.

"Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free"-Addison Road "Hope Now"

Join me!

Hey!

I'm over at D-Mom's Blog today. 

Come check it out!