Pity Party...

I wanted this to be a happy post, about blogging all month and the such.  But to be honest.  I had a really bad day.  Circumstances in my life have yet again slapped me in the face and slapped me hard.  I have to get back up and keep going but every time it is getting a little harder.

I could probably handle it if I wasn't dealing with diabetes on top of it all.  I am really at a lost for words.  I don't if I should be upset, mad, angry, frustrated or whatever emotion you can think of.  I have taken it to God numerous times only to get a maybe or no.  Then just when I think things might be looking up I get slammed with something else.  Sigh. I'm just not sure why this circumstance can't be resolved.  I take one step forward to take about 20 steps back.  I fight my way back and then it happens all over again.  

Only this time I'm not crying or upset.  I'm a little sad, I guess.  My heart still hurts though.  I wonder if it will always be like this??  Is this just my lot in life?  I see others living pretty normal lives. Right now, mine feels anything but normal.  

I think that is the end of my "pity party".  I feel like I just ramble on and on about it and I have deleted numerous paragraphs so I'm just going to leave it at this.  Thanks again for listening and joining me on this journey.  

L-I-F-E

What has life become?

That question has been on my mind a lot lately.

It feels like it became a HUGE twisted up knot the day the Lovebug was diagnosed.  Ever since then I haven't been every successful at unraveling it.

I've really been struggling with finding contentment with where I am in life right now; what life has become like for our family.  Seriously, it is a mess.  A good mess, at times.  At other times a horrible mess.

I find myself struggling with being happy with where God has put our family.  Our circumstances in life.  I don't want my circumstances to define who I am yet they are a huge part of me because my circumstances are not likely to change anytime soon.  I have a hard time not  wishing that things were different.  While at the same time I know that this is exactly where God wants us and there is a purpose for it.

I am stronger because of diabetes.  My marriage is stronger because of diabetes. But my marriage has also suffered.  Lovebug has suffered.  Peanut and Princess have suffered.  Nobody gets all of me, they only get little parts of me, the parts that I can spare.  Peanut doesn't understand why I go on all of Lovebug's school field trips but can't go on hers.  Princess doesn't understand why Lovebug can have Starbust and she can't.

It's been said that you can't ever really appreciate what you have until you loose it all.  Your struggles in life will make you stronger.  While I know that is true in my heart, I find myself trying to convince my mind of that at times.  I may not have lost it all but a hurricane sure came through and blew things up.

Things are not the way there are supposed to be. This is not what I wanted for my family.  This is not what I wanted for Lovebug.  I know that He has great plans for her but why do I still get mad and frustrated that He choose this life for us?  Why can't I just accept it, be happy and move on? He says He will not give us more then we can handle; apparently I am stronger then I thought.  Why do I feel so weak then?

It's not fair.  Not fair at all.  I feel like a little kid. I want to just throw a temper tantrum.  I know it won't really help, but maybe it would get my point across.  Probably not.  Tantrums don't work.  Nothing works.

I can't do anything to change my circumstances right now.  I can change the attitude and way that I look at them.  Although that is much easier said then done.

A day in the life....

Wake up to the buzzz buzzz of Dexie at 1:30am.  Get up grab meter and go upstairs praying I don't stub a toe along the way. Look at Dexie, 73.  Do finger check 69.  Beautiful.  (thinking to self, I over corrected after her bg of 353 @ 10:30pm, when will I learn to only give half a correction dose at night??) Walk back downstairs, grab some juice and head back up. Wake up Lovebug, she drinks the juice down (I'm pretty sure she does this in her sleep now).  Tuck her back in and then head back downstairs to tuck myself back into bed.  It's now 1:50 am.

Ring Ring...5:30am.  My alarm.  Quick shower, get dressed and wake hubby up.  Get hubby's lunch packed, watch the morning new and send hubby off to work.  

6:30am. Time to get the kids up. (really only my oldest needs to be up but unfortunately they all three share a room and inevitably the other two always wake up and won't go back to sleep) As I walk up the stairs I realize I must have lost a few used test strip along the way in the middle of the night. There is a trail of then up the stairs, in the hallway and into her bedroom.

I fight with Peanut to get dressed while making everyone breakfast.  Check Lovebug's bg, 118 not bad.  Figure out carbs for breakfast, 41 this morning with a waffle, half a banana and a strawberry smoothie. Dose her with 2.90 units of insulin. Get breakfast served. Urge the girls not to goof around at the breakfast table.  Tattle tailing occurs, (as usual)  and a spill or two. I get Peanuts snack around, pack her backpack, fill water bottle and then make sure she is ready to go.  

7:30am Carpool is here.  Peanut is off to school.  Lovebug is STILL eating. I urge her to hurry because we have to get ready to go to bible study this morning.  In the meantime I get Princess dressed. She is not happy with the clothes I have picked out, she want to wear a dress and not jean so upstairs it is to grab a dress and leggings. After Peanut is out the door I get a chance to check Facebook and read a few blog posts.  

Look at clock, 8:00am.  Lovebug is FINALLY done eating her breakfast.  (expecting a low here soon from already dosing insulin Lovebug not eating in a timely manner)  I help Lovebug get dressed, make sure the girls have brushed their teeth then turn the TV on for a while so I can finish getting ready.  

I look around, I can't get ready yet the kitchen needs to be cleaned up so off I go.  Get that cleaned up and it's now 8:20am.  Sheesh.  Okay, I wanted to be out the door early today, that isn't going to happen.  Quick finish getting ready, make sure I have my bible study materials, extra pull-up and diabetes pack.  Check Dexie to see where Lovebug's bg is at 110. A little lower then I would like after breakfast and she will be running around at bible study so I give her 2 glucose tablets (8 carbs) to boost her bg up a little, hoping she won't have a low later.  

9:13 arrive at bible study.  Drop kids off, check Dexie before I drop Lovebug off.  Dexie says 149 and arrow up. Good, hopefully no low today. Head off to my room and then grab some breakfast.  (they serve us breakfast at bible study....it is AWESOME!)  Sit down and "relax".  Well, except looking at phone to make sure I don't get a text message from Lovebug's bible study teacher saying she needs me.  No texts today, that makes two weeks in a row!  We are off to a great start!

11:30am Bible study is over pick the girls up. Check Dexie again, she says 110.  Okay, strange she had a snack she wasn't dose for but hey, no spike isn't a bad thing.  

12pm. Arrive home and lunch time.  Check Audrey's bg with a finger check.  259.  WHAT?!  Oh, yeah the snack she had a bible study must have kicked in.  I look at Dexie and sure enough there is a huge hill instead of straight line.  Dose her for a bg correction and for 21 carbs for lunch which includes a lunchable and a glass of milk. 3.20 units of insulin. 

12:30 Dexie is beeping at me.  301 and double arrows going up.  Wonderful.  Kick in already insulin!  

1pm. Nap time and Dexie is saying 320 but steady. Well, hopefully that means the insulin is starting to work now.  

Quiet afternoon. Watch TV for a while eat lunch and take a nap. Girls wake up from naps at 3pm. Dexie is saying bg is 180. Good, no finger check needed.  

3:40pm Peanut and hubby arrive home from school and work.  

4pm.  Preheat the oven for dinner and blog in the meantime.  

4:30pm Put fish in the oven for dinner and continue to blog.  

5:00pm check Lovebug's bg - 82. Dose for 35 carbs which include breaded fish, a California mix vegetable and a banana.  1.75 units of insulin.

5:30pm Kids go outside to play.  Lovebug runs around with her sisters for about a half hour. Praying that doesn't drive her low.  Lovebug decides to take a dive onto the cement too.  Nice.

6:00pm  Inside to watch a movie with Daddy and soak Lovebug's infected toe.  Which doesn't look infected to me at all, but then again. I'm not a doctor, just a pancreas.

Lovebug's bg - 140.  A great number to go to bed with.

I'll do one more bg check around 10pm before I got to bed and then pray that Dexie doesn't wake me up a couple hours later.  And maybe tonight I will remember to give her a half of a correction dose instead of a whole one because I would bet her bg will be over 250 when I check her at 10pm.

A day in my life. It was a quiet one today. If only all of them were this quiet on  the diabetes home front.

On my mind...

A life without diabetes has been on my mind a lot lately.  I guess maybe it's because of the Walk to Cure Diabetes that has made me dwell on it more then usual.  .

What I wouldn't give to not have to think about carbs or finger pokes or blood sugar numbers before we eat...anything.  Just this morning while Lovebug was at preschool I almost started to call my youngest over and tell her I needed to check her blood sugar before she had a snack.  Duh, that's not Lovebug.   Strange how even though Lovebug isn't around, I can't stop thinking about diabetes or carb counting...

Then there is that little twinge of jealously (and lets be honest here, bitterness) when I hear about how other friends can just dropping their kids off for a couple hours to get some stuff done. I can't do that.  I have a very limited amount of people that will even watch Lovebug.  Especially during the day when I need the help.  Everyone has to live their own lives right?   I never had a problem finding a sitter before diabetes decided to invade our lives.  I get a little jealous of friends that have friends that just offer to take their kids for the weekend.  Oh, how I hate feeling that way.

I  wish I could sleep through the night.  I didn't worry every morning that Lovebug might not wake up. That is my WORST fear. My friend Reyna put it perfectly in her post "The Painful Truth of my Nights".  What if  I awake to find Lovebug in the morning, passed away from a low blood sugar in the middle of the night? All I can say is thank God for Dexie.  I praise God that he gave someone the knowledge to come up with the technology for a CGM.

Before Diabetes I didn't worry about Lovebug growing up. Now I worry that she will be judged, made fun of or even shut out of stuff because of her "condition".  I'm afraid people will look at her differently, and it brings tears to my eyes.  I worry that she won't find a husband to love her or she won't be able to have kids.  I worry that diabetes will take her before she is even old enough to experience those things.

It breaks my heart that this is the only life she will ever know.  She won't remember her life before diabetes invaded it.  It was just 3 short years.  I'm sure I will soon forget what it was like before.  Problem is I don't want to forget.  I don't want to forget so the heartache stays and the pain is fresh. That way people realize how serious Type 1 diabetes is.  

I worry about her at school. That the teachers and staff won't pay attention to her and take her seriously. Preschool has been great!  The teachers really care and do a great job.  What will happen next year when she has to go to a different school? Will her teacher(s) be as compassionate and caring as the ones this year?  I know it is a very real possibility that I won't have the perfect situation and I will struggle with it.  Will I have to send Lovebug to a different school then her sisters because of diabetes?  My poor girl gets singled out enough already, I just want her to live as normal of a life as possible.

I wish I didn't have to worry about her getting sick, all the time.  I avoid things/places when I hear there are viruses going around. I don't even think about going to a McDonald's Play land or to the play areas at the mall anymore. Virus City.  Even just a little ingrown toenail, like she has now, could potentially turn into a infection that costs her a toe, or something worse.

I know all of it is in God's hands and that is the only reason I have any peace at all with this disease.  If I didn't believe that God was holding her in the palm of his hand watching over her 24/7 I'm pretty sure I would end up in a mental institution.  I couldn't handle all that on my own.

Not that I don't have a good support system but I am the one that does the most as far as diabetes care. I am the "full-time pancreas".  My hubby is the part time.  I'm okay with that. (we're okay with that) I'm a bit of a control freak anyway. I have a few others that fill in when they can and for that I am forever grateful.  Really, if it wasn't for my hubby, my friends, and the my D Mamas I would be lost.

Oh how I wish life were "normal" again

Friends

For all my wonderful friends out there....

I'm not sure if you can read the poem or not and I don't want to mess with copyrights so here is the poem that is above.

Difficult Days

On the difficult days,

When you feel like giving up,

Try to shed a smile

and remember,

That you are not alone,

but loved,

You've got friends 

that care for you,

And wish you the best too...

And when you need a hug,

Or a little pick-me-up...

Just remember I'm here...

With a heart full of cheer, 

To throw your way...

On those difficult days. 

Friendship is the comfort that comes from knowing that even when you feel all alone, you aren't. 

Highs and Lows

My Highs and Lows of Diabetes 

My Lows

 Diabetes makes Lovebug hurt.

 It is painful to watch Lovebug deal with.

Diabetes has changed everything that is “normal” for our family.

 It makes me angry.

Diabetes makes me fearful of everyday life for Lovebug.

 It makes me doubt myself. 

My Highs

Diabetes has given me and Lovebug new friends.

It has allowed me to see God's grace in an amazing new way.

Diabetes helps me treasure the little things in life.

It has taught me that I am a fighter.

Diabetes has made me wiser and stronger. 

It has brought us closer as a family.

D-Feast Friday - Cinnamon Pancakes!

Cinnamon Pancakes


Ingredients:
Whole wheat flour, 1 1/2 cups
Baking soda, 1 tsp.
Splenda, 2 tbsp
Milk, 1 cup
Eggbeaters, 1/2 cup
Vanilla Extract, 1 tbsp.
Cinnamon, 2 tbsp. 


Directions:
Mix flour, baking soda and splenda in a bowl.  Mix milk, eggs, and vanilla in another bowl. Beat wet mixture into dry mixture. Stir in cinnamon last.  Serving size is 1/3 cup.  


Makes about 8 pancakes. 

Total Carbs: 18

Rockin' for a Cure

JDRF Walk To Cure Diabetes 2010

*be sure to stop the music player below before watching the video!

Crazy Cycle

Lately it seems like it only takes me seconds to go from sad to happy to crying to happy again.  It's a never ending cycle of craziness.

I know that's what diabetes does.  It can turn on a dime, in seconds really.  One minute you are going along just fine then the next you are low.  Then so very quickly it will turn around and you are high. Diabetes reeks havoc on Lovebug's body, and on my emotions.

It's this crazy cycle that I ride every minute of every hour of every day.  24 hours a day 7 days a week.

I really struggle with sounding either happy all the time or grumpy and sad. There seems to be no happy medium for me. Then in the blink of an eye, anything anyone says or does can make my emotions do another 360 degree turn.   I just haven't been able to find that happy medium since diabetes started reeking havoc on my family's life a 17 months ago.

I'm sure a lot of it comes from lack of sleep.  The longest stretch of sleep I have gotten in the past 17 months is 6 hours.  It's like having a newborn in the house the never gets on a schedule and never grows up.  One night I can be up ever other hour, then next just a couple times and the next night only once.

Then when friends or family ask me to do something for them I feel horrible telling them no, but seriously I am running so thin....just one more thing might make be break, and I know that is hard for them to understand.  It is also hard for me because I am not the selfish type.  Lord knows that we are in no way rich in the money department, so I give of my times and talents as much I can.  Problem is, that is a lot less these days.  It's hard, really hard.  I love helping people out.

I feel like everyone gets just a little part of me, when I used to be able to give my all to everyone.

I always feel like I am explaining myself to everyone too.  It's just plain frustrating!!  I'm pretty sure my hubby and my D Mamas are the only ones who really get it.  I want my friends and family to know what it's like but how do I explain it to them without sounding like I am complaining all the time?  Or do I just not talk about it?

On the other hand I feel like if I do tell friends and family what it is really like day to day they will think I am complaining or never happy. I don't want to be known as a "Debbie Downer".   But I'm not sure it's any better to mask my feelings and just pretend that everything is okay and under control all the time either.  

It's just a crazy cycle that I just can't seem to get out of....
 

 

Vacation, Please!

I would like a vacation.....from everything. 

But especially from D.  

If only that would happen.....if only it could. 

But it can't.  

Even if I could take a vacation, D is still with me. 

I'm still thinking about it when I'm not with Lovebug.

I may not feel the effects of it, but it is a part of me too. 

I even dream about it, when I  actually get the chance to sleep.

But reality is...

I won't ever get a vacation, at least not from D. 

And neither will Lovebug.  

A Case of the Mondays

Any of you watched the movie Office Space?  One of my all time FAVORITES!

Today I had a serious case of the Mondays...

It was not good.

Between Lovebug's roller coaster numbers, a scare at preschool today and a mess up with my medical supply company I am at my wits end.  Not to mention everything I need to get accomplished tonight, before 8pm. I would REALLY like to sit down and watch Chuck tonight.  Only 50 minutes to go. At least I am checking one thing off my list by blogging now!!

Back to the day's events.  Lovebug woke up with a great bg of 139.  It went downhill from there.  No pun intended.

She had a low of 43 at preschool this morning.  I got the call she was low and they gave her some Smarties and a juice pouch.  I told them I was on my way over because they couldn't get the meter to work. They were going by what Dexie said her blood sugar was.  After arriving at the school, I walked past the preschool room and down to the office where Lovebug was at.  The preschool teacher stops me and told me that Lovebug threw up.  Oh wonderful.  Great, her first stomach flu bug since being diagnosed. I had all these "wonderful" thoughts running through my mind.  You see Lovebug doesn't get sick very often and when she does she gets REALLY sick.  So, when her teacher  told me she threw up I was scared. I was thinking emergency room this afternoon and a possible hospital stay.  Not exactly what I had pictured my Monday to look like.

Well, I got to the office and Lovebug was her normal happy self. Thank God. Come to find out she didn't throw up at all, she was just gagging and saying her tummy hurt. She was also walking around in a daze and seemed to be confused.  Crap. I knew they were going by Dexie because they couldn't get the meter to work, which meant Lovebug was much lower then the 43 that Dexie said she was.  SCARY.  It made me think of Wendy and her experience with Glucagon just a couple days ago.

After being an emotional wreck after that I came home to find out supplies for Dexie had come, along with some supplies the supply company kept NOT sending me.  I have been fighting with the for the past 8 weeks to send me the blood ketone strips that I was due. My insurance says I can get one box a month. Well I get three months of supplies at a time so I should have gotten 3 boxes of ketone strips back in July.  Nope, I only got one and I have been fighting to get the other two ever since.  They FINALLY worked it out and I got them today only to find out whoever packed the box put Blood GLUCOSE strips in the box instead of Blood KETONE strips.  AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Called them AGAIN and it is fixed but I can't get them until I send the glucose strips back to them. Seriously, it wasn't my mistake, it was yours folks!!! Why should I have to wait because of YOUR mistake??  Oh, well. Hopefully when I get them they will finally be right, or maybe that is too much to ask?  I don't know.

All I know is right now I have a whole list of things that need to get done before 8pm and I now have 35 minutes.  Ta Ta for now friends!

A few of Meri's Favorite things...GIVEAWAY!

You should head over to Meri's blog to check out the

AWESOME GIVEAWAY she has going right now.

You will not be disappointed!!


NOW, GO!!!

So Much More...

This years Walk to Cure Diabetes was so much more then just Walk Day itself.  Here are some of the many blessings I received along the way this year...

It stared back in June....when I started searching for someone to design a logo for our team.  I decided to go with Kelly at Perilight Graphics.  I just could not have been more pleased.  She focused the logo on Lovebug rather then the Walk or Diabetes.  The logo just meant that much more to me knowing that there was thought and purpose behind it.

Then in August I received on email from a high school classmate that really touched my heart.  She thanked me for the education I had given her (and others) over the past few months about how Type 1 affects families and not just the diabetic affected by the disease.  (you mean people are actually reading what I'm writing about?) That really touched my heart to know that I am doing something right!

So many stories like my husband has been selling sneakers at work for the past month. He sold over $40 in sneakers!  I amazes me that people I have never met and have never met Audrey would donate to help make her life better.

I reconnected with a friend earlier this year whom I hadn't talked to in a few years.  It was her idea to throw together a garage sale fundraiser for the JDRF just two weeks before Walk Day.  We got donations and put it together in about a week.  (with her doing most of the work!) We ended up raising $250!  I thought that for putting it together that quickly the amount was incredible! My sister's sister-in-laws even stopped by the sale that day and donated! (yes, it was out of their way!)  Did I also mention how Kristina's daughters and two of their friends kept an eye on my girls for me? She even explained what Diabetes is to the girls along with her pump and Dexie.  Kristina is such an amazing friend!

My niece tried selling sneakers in her dorms but it didn't work out.  There was too much red-tape. (boo) But she still managed to get some donations from friends!  Then her mom, my sister-in-law raised $500 dollars in ONE day!!!  That is AMAZING!!!  (and also much better then I did in any single day!)

Then there is the story about our t-shirts. When it was time to decide on a screen printer for our shirts, I decided to go with a recommendation that a friend had given me.  We decided to use Screen Ideas, a local screen printer, even though it wasn't the best deal. Well after the t-shirts were completed he called me and asked me what he had quoted me for the shirts.  I told him but then shortly after getting off the phone I looked at a couple other emails and realized I had given him the price another screen printer had given me. (which was cheaper then then one he had given me, but I had to pay shipping)   I sent him an email and let him know I had mixed up the quotes and to apologize.  When I received the invoice for the t-shirts the price the other screen printer had given me was on the invoice.  I called him and he told me he gave me that price because he really appreciated my business and my honesty.  WOW AWESOME!  :)  But that isn't even the best part!!

When I went to pick up the t-shirts I got the meet the guy who actually printed them. Guess what??  He is a Type 1 diabetic!!  He has had it since he was 8 years old and is now 22 and wears an insulin pump.  I just couldn't believe it. It really touched my heart knowing that someone else who grew up with the disease printed Lovebug's shirts.

Then last but not least in way of blessings is the last week.  Last Saturday we were still $1400 dollars away from our team goal of raising $2000.  I was disappointed but kept looking on the bright side that we had tripled out team size from 20 walkers to 57 walkers in just one year!  Well I was talking about that with my husband on the way home from his company picnic.  He told me you never know....yeah, okay, I'll admit it, he was right again.  Just a few minutes later when we got home there was a check in our mail box for $200.
Then this week donations came flooding in. Most of them in the past couple days.  We had some many donations the night before and the day of the walk that I lost track of how much money we raised!!  I know we exceeded our goal of $2000 but I just don't know by how much.

Do I think all of this is coincidence?  Not at all!  Something I have been learning a lot the past year is to put my trust God, even in the little day to day things.  This year He has shown me over and over that his hand has been in this every step of the way.  Everything I shared above is a blessing directly from him. I couldn't have done any of it without Him. Even when I had set backs and questioned whether or not I was doing the right thing,   He has been guiding me, giving me little glimpses of Himself.

The support of my family, friends and strangers is just simply amazing to me.  So hard to put into words just what it means, it brings tears to my eyes when I think about it.

It's Raining.....It's Pouring....

 Many blessings....that is!!  


I had a wonderful day with family and friends today at the Walk to Cure Diabetes.  I am immeasurably blessed! 


I have so many thoughts in my head that I am having a hard time getting them down on paper. 


There have been so many little things along our journey this year that I want to make sure that you can savor them right a long with me.  So many moments that I don't ever want to forget. 


I hope that all of you are enjoying your weekend!


Until tomorrow my friends! Love you all!

Mail Exchange

I am LOVING this idea!!!

Cindy over at Eaten Alive had this great idea to do a mail exchange for the kids!

ALL the kids -- D Kiddos and Non-D Siblings included!

Basically you just need to e-mail Cindy the names and ages of your children.

She's going to match everyone up with another child around the same age.

Then you put a little package in the mail to your child's buddy...

and enjoy the moment your kiddo realizes they got mail!

Here's a little more info. from Cindy's blog....

My email address is cindyroerig@hotmail.com. I'm going to try to match each child up with another child who is about the same age. Non-d kids are welcome too! Here are the rules:

1. A small gift (stickers, socks, book, whatever) worth no more than $5.
2. Sent no later than October 1st.
3. Include a picture of your child
4. When your child receives their mail, follow it up by emailing a picture to the sender

Sound easy enough? I'm including the photo email in the rules because I think it'd be great for our kids to see who they sent their gift to. Even better if the gift is featured in the photo, right? Once I get all the emails, I'll pair children up and email each of you the email address of the person you'll be exchanging with. This way, you won't have to over-share your mailing address and we can keep a lot of it private. You can ask a few questions to get an idea of what each child might like.

I'm so excited to do this! I hope you'll all join in and feel free to invite others over to join too! I'm going to make Tuesday, September 21st, at 10:00 p.m., the deadline for signing up!

D-Feast Friday

To date this is my favorite Fried Chicken recipe. Only problem is I don't know the carb count on it.  I had it figured out at one time. This recipe isn't my own, It comes from Sandra Lee on the Food Network.

Ingredients

• 2 cups buttermilk
• 1 tablespoon hot sauce
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1 whole (3 1/2 to 4 pound) chicken, cut into parts
• 4 cups canola oil
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

In a large bowl mix together the buttermilk, hot sauce and salt and pepper, to taste. Add the chicken parts and turn to coat completely. Cover and marinate in the refrigerator for 30 minutes to 2 hours.

In a deep heavy-bottomed skillet, heat the canola oil over medium-high heat to 350 degrees F.

Put the flour in a shallow baking dish or pie plate, stir in the baking soda, poultry seasoning, cayenne pepper, and salt and pepper, to taste.

Working in 2 batches, shake off excess buttermilk and put the chicken pieces into flour mixture, coating thoroughly. Carefully add them, in batches, to the hot oil and fry until golden brown on the outside and cooked through, about 5 to 7 minutes. Remove from oil and drain on a paper lined sheet tray. Transfer to a baking sheet with a rack and bake in the oven for 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from the oven and transfer to a serving platter to serve.

ENJOY!

Quotes....

Some of my favorite quotes for the day....enjoy!  




Everyone is entitled to their own opinions--not their own facts. There is a difference.




“You have to find something that you love enough to be able
to take risks, jump over the hurdles and break through the brick walls that are
always going to be placed in front of you. If you don't have that kind of
feeling for what it is you’re doing, you’ll stop at the first giant hurdle.” —George Lucas




It takes practice to ignore negative thoughts....




Cleaning the house before the kids quit growing is like shoveling snow before it quits snowing.




Although fate presents the circumstances, how you react depends on your character. ~Anonymous




People that don't know me think I'm quiet, but the people who know me wish I was!




I am who I am, your approval is not desired or necessary!

It's the Little Things...

I love the little things in life right now, like...

*Being the  "tickle monster" to the girls.   I just LOVE hearing them giggle. 

*Princess singing to the music on the radio.  

*Seeing the joy that Peanut has when she succeeds at her homework.  

*My hubby coming home from work with a fountain coke and Reese's peanut butter cups. 

*Words of encouragement from a friend.  

*My D-Mama's. 

*Watching Princess dance.  

*Receiving $550 dollars in donations for our JDRF walk in one day.

*Oh yes, and I almost forgot!  FINDING my notebook with all my blog post ideas in it!!!!

Lost

I love a challenge! so when I was challenged to blog every day for the month of September I thought it would be easy. I was doing really well, I  had some posts written ahead of time so all I had to do was publish them.  I had a nice little list of blog post ideas and I knew I could easily get a months worth.  I was ahead of the curve!


Well, yesterday I went to pull out my hand dandy notebook that has my list of blog post ideas in it. It is NOWHERE to be found!!  Now I am left to actually having to write about my boring hum drum life and trying to come up with a new list of blog post ideas.  Frustrating to say the least, since I am not the most creative person in the world. I also have my 100th blog post coming up and I must get creative, and FAST! That isn't easy for me.


I feel so LOST!

The 1st Day

WOW!  

DEEP breath....

Okay, I did it.  

I made it through Lovebug's 1st day of Preschool.  I survived.  

BIG *sigh*

of RELIEF! 

It's very hard letting someone else have your baby for couple hours with D along.  It's hard for me to trust other people  with her, because they don't know as much as I do.  But I give them what information they need to know to take care of her and I am only a phone call away if the unexpected happens.  It helps that I live only 5 minutes away too!

This morning Lovebug walked into her room like she owned the place.  (I wish that I could have gotten a picture of that!)  She said good morning to her teacher and got her coat and back pack hung up in the right spot. She even took her folder right over to the teachers desk and put it in the basket.


I'm SO very PROUD of her.


I still can't believe how brave she is....

I did get a call from her teacher, Mrs. C.  this morning.  She couldn't get the strips to read (for some reason) and had to poke her 3 times because of an error message.  Lovebug just sat there and told her "It's was okay, it happens sometimes".  ( I could hear her in the background over the phone.:)

Thank goodness for Dexie at that point!  Since we couldn't get her finger poke to read, I  just had  Mrs. C tell me what Dexie said so I had an idea where she was at (238) and went ahead and told Mrs. C. it was okay to give Lovebug her insulin.

Lovebug did have a little accident today, of course, because that was the ONLY thing I FORGOT to pack in her backpack!  A change of clothes!

It ended up being a pretty good morning.  Mrs C. was confident with Lovebug's diabetes care and Lovebug  was happy.  What else could a mom ask for!

Ramblings...

So this weekend has been pretty good, and busy. We went to my hubby's work picnic yesterday. It was wet and cold but the girls had a lot of fun. Then today we had a church picnic which was a blast!  The weather was much nicer today and the girls enjoyed the pizza and ice cream.  Well everyone but Lovebug, she didn't want to eat anything but a bag of Cheetos and that was okay with me.  Not the healthiest lunch in the world but it doesn't happen very often.  


I'm really glad that it has been busy because it has kept my mind off of Monday, until now. 


I had to pack Lovebug's "tote" of snacks for lows at school.  Hopefully she won't need them.  Then I got her backpack out and packed it and got the clothes laid out. I'm just praying I don't forget anything.  


I have so many emotions  running through my head right now that I don't even know where to begin. I'm scared nervous, worried, sad, and not ready.  Yet I am happy and excited for Lovebug as she starts this new journey in her life.  


I'm sure tomorrow is going to bring lots of tears and quite possibly a nervous breakdown, but I think I will survive it.....right? I have to stay positive.  Lovebug is super excited so I have to be for her, even though I'm pretty sure I'm not ready to send her to school yet.  


If I keep telling my self that everything will be okay then it will be....


 I'm just praying I can get a little bit of sleep tonight and tomorrow I won't be too overly emotional.  (I'm trying to convince myself and it's still not working.)


Well, I guess I'll see you on the other side tomorrow, if I make it! 

Remembering...

September 10th and September 11th will be two days that will be with me forever and for two completely different reasons.


September 11th, 2001
was a bright sunny morning, really blue skies here, just like in New York City.  I went to work that morning, (yes at one time I did work outside the home! :) My job (at a mortgage company) was out on the south side of town close to the airport. We had planes fly over our building all the time when coming in to land.


I was already there and working when my co-worker came in (late) and said that she heard on the radio that a (small) plane had flown into the Twin Towers in NYC.  I didn't think too much about it and continued working.  Then a few minutes later, I had been listening to the radio at my desk and it came across the another plane had flown into the other Twin Tower.  Now, they had my attention!  I listened as they described what they say, then it seemed pretty quick and the announcer said the one tower was gone....


I lost my breath, had I just "listed" to upwards of 20,000 people just die?  We didn't have a TV in our office and we could barely get on the Internet to get any pictures.  The one picture we did get was the smoke coming from the towers after both of them had been hit.


Then we started hearing of more planes hijacked and that one had hit the pentagon. (not having a television to watch we weren't really getting the whole perspective on things either) We got a little nervous when there was one unaccounted for and we were located near the airport.  Luckily it landed in Cleveland and was searched and found to be okay.  Little did we know it was the plan that went down in Shanksville that they were worried about.


We listened to the speech from President Bush and watched all the airplanes land after airspace had been closed.  Our reception area was one big glass window and the planes were coming in so low and fast that day that (at times) it looked as though they were going to fly right into our building.  You could see the shadows of the planes on the ground.  It was a little surreal.


I didn't have any kids yet and knew things were bad, but didn't realize just how bad until I turned the TV on when I got home that night.  It was on EVERY station.  I have cable and I mean EVERY station.  At that moment I was glad I didn't have kids yet and that I didn't have that extra layer of fear.  It was a day that I will never forget, along with all Americans.


Fast forward to September 10th, 2009


Another day I will never forget,  Lovebug's pump start day.  I was so excited that day, and a little nervous that it was finally happening!  No more  shots and lots more freedom, even if she was hooked up to a "machine" and had to wear a "fanny pack" around her waist all the time.


That's right, she has officially been pumping for a year now!  It is bittersweet though.  While it makes her and our lives easier, she is hooked up to a "machine" that keeps her alive.  That is hard some day's.  Hard knowing that when she is unhooked from her pump she isn't getting the medicine to keep her alive.  That means she has  had diabetes in her (and our ) live (s) for 17 months now.  It has been a long 17 months but we have come a long way since we brought her home from the hospital after her diagnosis.

D-Feast Friday: Chewy Molasses Ginger Cookies

It's time for D-Feast Friday!  

Today I am sharing a yummy recipe for Molasses Cookies!  
These Cookies are yummy and low in sugar.  ENJOY! 

Chewy Molasses Ginger Cookies

INGREDIENTS
1/3 C butter or margarine, softened
3/4 C packed Brown Sugar
1/4 C dark Molasses
1tsp Ginger, ground
1tsp Cinnamon, ground
1 egg
1 1/2 C all purpose wheat flour
1/2 C whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 C granulated sugar

DIRECTIONS
Beat the Butter on medium-high speed in a large mixing bowl for 2 minutes. Beat in the brown sugar. Add the Molasses, Ginger, and Cinnamon, mix thoroughly. Add the Egg. Mix in as much of the flour & wheat flour as you can with the electric mixer. Stir in any remaining by hand. Refrigerate for 1 hour.
Heat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Spray 3-4 cookie sheets with non-stick cooking spray.
Shape into 1 inch balls, roll in granulated sugar mixed with cinnamon. Place 2 inches apart on prepared baking sheets. Bake for 8-12 minutes, until cookies are set and tops crack.
Makes 48 Cookies

Number of Servings: 48

Nutritional Info
Amount per serving
Calories: 53.4
Total Fat 1.4g
Total Carbs: 9.7g
       Dietary Fiber 0.3mg
Protein 0.7g