On the 1st

I know it's not the first of the month, but I thought I would share this today since I  have a special post for tomorrow.  

On the first of every month, the emotions flood over me again. 

On the first of every month, I remember the soaked diapers and the sippy cup glued to her hand

On the first of every month, is a day I will never forget

On the first of every month, I remember her blue lips and sunken eyes

On the first of every month, my mind recalls how many months it's been

On the first of ever month, I remember her lying in her hospital bed

On the first of every month, my heart relives the pain and hurt

On the first of every month, I remember those first shots

On the first of every month, I am reminded how close we came to loosing her

On the first of every month, I thank God we still have her

Diabetes has taught me...

I have been a full time pancreas for almost two years now. My reflections on some things I have learned along the way. 

Diabetes has given me a new appreciation for life. It has taught me to take it one day at a time, no more, no less.  

Diabetes has taught me that friendships are important. That your true friends will stick by you no matter what. 

Diabetes has taught me that you have to have a sense of humor if you don't want to go crazy!

Diabetes has taught me that I have to stay positive, for Lovebug and the whole family. When I am down, it effects everyone. When I am positive, it effects everyone. 

Diabetes has made me realize (once and for all) that I am not the one in control. It has taught me not to worry about the small stuff

Diabetes has shown me that I am stronger then I thought I was. That Lovebug is stronger then me. 

Diabetes has taught me to listen. Diabetes has taught me to believe

Diabetes has shown me that sleep is priceless. Diabetes has taught me not to be so hard on myself

Diabetes has shown me to treasure each and every moment I have with my girls. Diabetes has given me empathy

Diabetes has taught me to fight for what I want

Diabetes has shown me that God always puts me exactly where I am supposed to be

One Proud Mama

As I was talking to one of Lovebug's teachers this morning, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that she was giving each one of her friends hugs and telling them she missed them.  How sweet is that? 

Then later in the morning I got a call today from Lovebug's preschool.  It was one of the parent helpers asking me a question about her pump and dosing her for her snack.  She had already checked  Lovebug's blood sugar and had a question. I walked her through it and it was all taken care of pretty easily. The conversation wasn't an abnormal one but it was the what she said at the end of the conversation that really resonated with me.  Lovebug is one amazing little girl.  

Yes, yes she is.  I already knew that, but when someone who doesn't know her that well or know much about diabetes to say that, meant a lot.  It made me smile and gave me those warm fuzzies. 

All that got me thinking.  I know that Lovebug is an amazing kid, but how amazing I am just starting to realize.  

The realization is setting in more and more each day, that she is teaching me a lot about myself.  She is helping me be a better mother, daughter, and friend and she is only 4 years old!  

She is always thinking of others first. The way she shows love to her friends by making them  friends and her teachers at school cards and notes or drawing them pictures.  There are some days that her daily folder is packed with 5 or 6 "notes" for her friends.  

She is always asking how Daddy is doing?  When he is tired and lying on the couch she will ask him if he feels okay or if he is just tired.  She worries about her sisters when they are hurt or sick. She will randomly come up to me and give me a hug or tell me that she loves me.  She always gives her big sister a hug when she gets home from school and is super excited to see her. On Sunday mornings she will run up and give her teachers a big hug.  You can just tell that she loves people and cares about them.  

When she was diagnosed the Type 1 she was so sick.  She was my one kid that just never got sick.  To see her sick was really hard.  She was so needy and just not herself.  But from the first shot of insulin she received in the hospital, she has always had the best attitude.  

She has never complained about shots.  When she was first diagnosed she would remind me that she needed her insulin before she ate, or remind me to poke her finger. (she still does on occasion when I am distracted and forget!) She hasn't ever cried for a Sensor change or an infusion site change for her pump. (although a couple times I have gotten and "ouch, ouch, ouch, Mommy) She doesn't ask me why, or complain about her diabetes. (at least not yet anyway.)  She is so laid back with the whole thing.  She just goes with the flow and doesn't worry about it.  

Her teachers have told me that she helped them when they were first learning her diabetes care.  Mrs C and Mrs W would tell me she would give them a high-five when they got it right.  Lovebug would come home and tell me that she Mrs C got it right on the second try today and the she was so proud of her!  That is just CRAZY!  I guess she even high -fived the principle,  Mr. N when he was in her room and helped out one day.  She is really encouraging to others, and it blesses my heart to see it.  

I have to admit that I could take a few cues from her.  I need to be more laid back and just go with the flow.  That's hard for me. I like to be in charge and know what to expect. I don't particularly like life's little forks in the road or detours. It's that first born in me!  I have noticed that when I am having a frustrating day with diabetes and I want to ring it's little neck, Lovebug is the one that will calm me down, so to speak. When I see her start complaining the way I am, well you get the point.  It's a HUGE wake up call.  

We are coming up on our 2 year Diaversary soon and two years into this, I couldn't be more proud. She is what makes diabetes tolerable. She is my little blessing, diabetes and all. 

 I am certainly one proud Mama.  

Dear Diabetes

Dear Diabetes, 

We have had you as an unwelcome guest is my house for almost 2 years now.  I am tired of you.  I want you to go away, but I know  you can't. You are here to stay.  I have to deal with you rather I like it or not.  

The problem is that you make my life much more complicated.  My life is already complicated.  I didn't need one more thing to make it even crazier.  Seriously?  Are you hearing me here?  Especially the past week.  The roller coaster you have put me and Lovebug on is just, well simply put; Hell.  She doesn't feel good, I am even more exhausted then I normally am (up until now I didn't think that was possible) and my moods are as up and down as Lovebug's blood sugar numbers.  

You are not helping matters at all.  I understand you are here to stay but could you just behave for more then a couple days at a time?  So this exhausted, overworked and stressed out mom could get a bit of a reprieve?  Would that be too much to ask?  Probably, huh?

That's what I thought, but no harm is asking, right?  

Even though there are days, sometimes weeks at a time when you make my family's life just downright miserable, I will not let you steal my joy.  I will not let you get me down.  There are too many other good things in my life for me to let you make my life gloomy.  


So there, take that Diabetes.  

My Little Ambassador

I am so very proud to announce that Lovebug will be joining the Diabetes Dude in helping raise awareness for Type 1 Diabetes this year!  Lovebug was chosen by the Diabetes Dude to be the 2011 Ambassador for Michigan!  We could not be happier! 

Haven't heard of the Diabetes Dude?  

His name is Noah Brokmeier.  He was diagnosed in 2007 at the age of 6.  He created the blue flamingo as a symbol for diabetes awareness.  

About the campaign from The Diabetes Dude website: 

"The "Flamingo Flock" is a campaign to raise awareness for diabetes. This campaign originally started to raise funds on Noah's behalf for the American Diabetes Association, but we have become so overwhelmed with responses that we have received that Noah has decided to turn it into a full fledged campaign to raise awareness and would love to see this go national!  Noah uses blue flamingos instead of traditional pink flamingos to not only get people talking about these crazy colored birds but also because this is the color used for diabetes awareness."  

I first heard about Noah when he Flocked the Today Show last fall and had pictures of other children with Type 1 Diabetes put on the jumbo screen in Times Square.  The more I heard about the Diabetes Dude, the more I wanted to help.  When I heard about the ambassador program I talked to Lovebug about it and she was super excited to help out.  Matter of fact she keeps asking when we will get our blue flamingo. She wants to take her's to school and show all her friends and teachers.  

I am just as excited as Lovebug, because I this year, more then ever we are committed to educating, advocating and raising funds for a cure and this is another way we can reach out to others. And a great way for Lovebug to help out too! 

My 2 Cents Worth

I found myself on Facebook a couple days ago and saw a lot of links to an article on diaTribe.  It was an interview that was done with The President and CEO of JDRF Jeffery Brewer.  Of course, the article caught my attention since it involves the JDRF. A organization that I support whole heartedly.  

I read the article for myself and see what all the "hype" was about.  (You should read it too and see what you think, just click HERE) I actually read and re-read the article numerous times making sure I wasn't taking anything the wrong way or reading too much into what Mr. Brewer was saying in the article.  

I know there are people in the DOC that disagree with what Mr. Brewer has said in the article.  They believe he is moving the JDRF away from it's original focus, which is to fund a cure for Type 1 Diabetes. After reading this article I have to respectfully disagree with these people. 

I do not feel that JDRF is moving away from their original focus, they are expanding it. I agree we need research for a cure.  JDRF is not the only ones looking for a cure.  The DRI and Faustman Lab  are other wonderful organizations out there actively researching a cure.  That is a good thing! The more organizations and people we have out there working on finding a cure the more likely we are to find one.  

The JDRF is expanding their efforts to make the lives of Type 1 diabetics, children and adults better, NOW.  We need better treatment and better technology to make diabetes easier to live with.  There is a good chance that those advancements in treatment and technology very well could lead to helping find a cure.  

The JDRF wants to help out across the board, not just with research but with clinical trials, FDA regulation and making sure new technology is covered by insurance companies.  Call me crazy but how can this not be a good thing? 

We need to find ways to make it safer for children and adults a like to live with diabetes.  Remember those with Type 1 live with it 24/7. There is NO rest from diabetes.  I have to think about it when Lovebug is awake, sleeping, whenever she puts anything into her mouth, exercise, stress and sickness.  Anything and everything effects her blood sugar levels and how she feels.  

There is technology out there that would help save Lovebug (and others who suffer from Type 1) from hypoglycemia in the middle of the night (or any time of day really) with a low glucose suspend that shuts off the basal rate on an insulin pump when blood sugar readings go below a certain level.  This is life saving technology out there that the FDA is dragging their feet on approving!! Mr. Brewer stated it perfectly

"...JDRF is trying to help the FDA understand how to make diabetes safe to live with then it is today. The example of the automatic shut off during hypoglycemia is a no-brainer. An absolute no-brainer.  The fact that we have to go through tens of millions of dollars to clinical trials in order to prove to the FDA that that's a good thing is really a shame."

Simply put, the changes at the JDRF are for the better. If a cure was right around the corner I would be the first one beating the drum screaming at them that their focus is wrong. That isn't the case though.  A cure is (unfortunately) at least 10 years down the road.  They are not just focusing on a cure but focusing on improving the lives of our kids (and adults) on a day to day basis!  That my friends is WONDERFUL!!

After all the negative backlash from the DOC I Mr. Brewer responded to it HERE (you have to scroll down the page just a bit to read it since it was posted on a forum) and did  a wonderful job.  Thank you Mr. Brewer for not only wanting a cure but wanting to make the lives of our children better.  


My friend Nicole also did a wonder post on this subject, check it out  HERE!!!