This and That

It has been one of those weeks already and it's only Tuesday.....

Sheesh.

I am excited about Princess's official pump start later this week. Princess is very excited to be done with shots and so am I.  She keeps asking me why she has her pump but is still getting shots. That's hard. Especially when she still cries when I give her shots and when she tells me point blank that she doesn't want a shot, AT ALL. (she isn't stubborn or anything....)

I admit that while the pump is easier and better for Princess, it is a constant reminder to me.  A reminder that I have ANOTHER child on an insulin pump. Not just one, two.  (I seriously hate saying that) It is a reminder of what was and now is.  It's a reminder of how different our lives were, just 6 short weeks ago.  It's a reminder that the little "machine" she wears around her waist......keeps her ALIVE.

Despite all that, I am anxious to get insulin in her pump so I can start "tweaking" her numbers. Princess's numbers really have been high and I know her A1C will be up from her diagnosis 6 weeks ago because of it.  But, there is only so much you can do to tweak things when you are on MDI and the smallest dose you can give is .5 units.  I am ready to give her more exact doses rather then rounding up or down when it is time to give a shot.

On a happier note, we did successfully change our first CGM Sensor change last night.  I was pretty proud of myself.  (not bragging here....;))  It went really well.  Princess really does have a little too much anticipation anxiety before so we didn't let the EMLA cream sit on her bottom as long has we had the past couple times.  We also had her lay down on the couch rather then stand up. I actually got it inserted with out it bleeding a whole lot either.  Last time I put one in at the Endo's office, it bleed A LOT.  I think I know the trick to getting no blood, but I must wait until another sensor change comes along in a couple days.

One top of all the pump stuff going on, Lovebug's last day of Preschool was yesterday.  It was hard.  I can't believe my baby is growing up.  I am just amazed at how much she has grown this year.  I am so thankful for great teachers who took such wonderful care of her while she was at school.

For some reason it is harder for me to watch my two d kids grown up then it is to watch my oldest (who is non d) grow up. (anyone else have that problem or am I the only one?)  I just love watching Peanut grown up, learn and try new things.  She is a wonderful, bright girl. It is just SO hard for me to accept that Lovebug and Princess are growing up. Not that I don't want them too, but growing up means giving more of their care over to other people. It's hard to know how well teachers and staff at school are going to take care of her. Will they do as good of a job as I would?  Are they going to be around staff as well as other children and parents who will be sympathetic and understanding?  I don't want anyone to look at them differently because of their diabetes or treat them differently.  I want them to know that they can do anything they want, despite diabetes.  I know there will be lots of challenges up ahead, and I try not to focus on them but I still think about them.  I just want what's best for my girls, just like any other mom would.  It is just SO HARD not to worry!

A Case of the Mondays

Any of you watched the movie Office Space?  One of my all time FAVORITES!

Today I had a serious case of the Mondays...

It was not good.

Between Lovebug's roller coaster numbers, a scare at preschool today and a mess up with my medical supply company I am at my wits end.  Not to mention everything I need to get accomplished tonight, before 8pm. I would REALLY like to sit down and watch Chuck tonight.  Only 50 minutes to go. At least I am checking one thing off my list by blogging now!!

Back to the day's events.  Lovebug woke up with a great bg of 139.  It went downhill from there.  No pun intended.

She had a low of 43 at preschool this morning.  I got the call she was low and they gave her some Smarties and a juice pouch.  I told them I was on my way over because they couldn't get the meter to work. They were going by what Dexie said her blood sugar was.  After arriving at the school, I walked past the preschool room and down to the office where Lovebug was at.  The preschool teacher stops me and told me that Lovebug threw up.  Oh wonderful.  Great, her first stomach flu bug since being diagnosed. I had all these "wonderful" thoughts running through my mind.  You see Lovebug doesn't get sick very often and when she does she gets REALLY sick.  So, when her teacher  told me she threw up I was scared. I was thinking emergency room this afternoon and a possible hospital stay.  Not exactly what I had pictured my Monday to look like.

Well, I got to the office and Lovebug was her normal happy self. Thank God. Come to find out she didn't throw up at all, she was just gagging and saying her tummy hurt. She was also walking around in a daze and seemed to be confused.  Crap. I knew they were going by Dexie because they couldn't get the meter to work, which meant Lovebug was much lower then the 43 that Dexie said she was.  SCARY.  It made me think of Wendy and her experience with Glucagon just a couple days ago.

After being an emotional wreck after that I came home to find out supplies for Dexie had come, along with some supplies the supply company kept NOT sending me.  I have been fighting with the for the past 8 weeks to send me the blood ketone strips that I was due. My insurance says I can get one box a month. Well I get three months of supplies at a time so I should have gotten 3 boxes of ketone strips back in July.  Nope, I only got one and I have been fighting to get the other two ever since.  They FINALLY worked it out and I got them today only to find out whoever packed the box put Blood GLUCOSE strips in the box instead of Blood KETONE strips.  AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Called them AGAIN and it is fixed but I can't get them until I send the glucose strips back to them. Seriously, it wasn't my mistake, it was yours folks!!! Why should I have to wait because of YOUR mistake??  Oh, well. Hopefully when I get them they will finally be right, or maybe that is too much to ask?  I don't know.

All I know is right now I have a whole list of things that need to get done before 8pm and I now have 35 minutes.  Ta Ta for now friends!

Ramblings...

So this weekend has been pretty good, and busy. We went to my hubby's work picnic yesterday. It was wet and cold but the girls had a lot of fun. Then today we had a church picnic which was a blast!  The weather was much nicer today and the girls enjoyed the pizza and ice cream.  Well everyone but Lovebug, she didn't want to eat anything but a bag of Cheetos and that was okay with me.  Not the healthiest lunch in the world but it doesn't happen very often.  


I'm really glad that it has been busy because it has kept my mind off of Monday, until now. 


I had to pack Lovebug's "tote" of snacks for lows at school.  Hopefully she won't need them.  Then I got her backpack out and packed it and got the clothes laid out. I'm just praying I don't forget anything.  


I have so many emotions  running through my head right now that I don't even know where to begin. I'm scared nervous, worried, sad, and not ready.  Yet I am happy and excited for Lovebug as she starts this new journey in her life.  


I'm sure tomorrow is going to bring lots of tears and quite possibly a nervous breakdown, but I think I will survive it.....right? I have to stay positive.  Lovebug is super excited so I have to be for her, even though I'm pretty sure I'm not ready to send her to school yet.  


If I keep telling my self that everything will be okay then it will be....


 I'm just praying I can get a little bit of sleep tonight and tomorrow I won't be too overly emotional.  (I'm trying to convince myself and it's still not working.)


Well, I guess I'll see you on the other side tomorrow, if I make it! 

Sending Diabetes to Preschool

In a couple weeks I will be sending diabetes to preschool.  I'm not quite sure I'm ready for it.

In all honesty, I'm terrified.  

For the past 17 months  my husband and I have been doing the majority of the diabetes care for Lovebug. I'm not so sure I am ready to give that up. I get nervous letting her stay with people who know just as much as the preschool teachers are going to know the first day of preschool, but Lovebug won't be the only child with their attention. It terrifies me that they will miss something. But, I have to let her go.  I have to let Lovebug grow up as normally is possible and trust that God will take care of the rest.

It's just that with diabetes aboard I'm a little hesitant (okay a lot) to let her grow up.  I don't want her to have to face the realities of this disease that I already have to face but just don't feel it in my body the way she does. I never thought I would be one of those parents who doesn't really want my kid to grow up, but with Lovebug I am.  I wish that I didn't though.  

It's just that I know what kind of world that she is growing up in and the challenges she faces will be many.  It won't be an easy road for her. There will be people who judge her and treat her unfairly just because of her diabetes.  I wish I could take it all from her and give her back a "normal" childhood.  One that doesn't know what a low or high blood sugar feels like. One where she didn't know what a finger poke felt like or know what insulin or glucose tablets are.  

I put the finishing touches on my 504 plan yesterday, along with the lanyard tags, cheat sheets, letter to parents and substitute sheet.  I will have a link up soon on the side of the page for you to click on with all the sheets, to help those of you who need them.  I meet with her teachers next week to finalize everything and train them before preschool starts the week after.  

Hopefully my nerves won't get the best of me but I'm pretty sure their will be plenty of tears from me the first day.  Lord, help during the next week because it is going to be rough.