Intuition

The past month has been a bit of a long one.  We have had numerous problems with Lovebug's blood sugar numbers.  More lows then I care to be handling, followed my more high's.  It's really hard to watch her go through that. She is exhausted when she gets home from school and usually falls asleep before dinner.  I have tried and tried to get her numbers  back in range, but to no avail.

We have changed basal rates, decreased and increased. We have raised and lowered carb ratio's. Given temp basal's and just plain not bolused for food at all.   Lately, we have been using the Combo Bolus.  We do a combo bolus if she 150 or below and if she is above 150 we just do a normal bolus.

Thankfully this seems to be working, so far anyway.  Every time I think we have figured it out, it stops working.  We think we know what MIGHT be causing the crazy numbers but won't have an answer for a while on that. Needless to say over Thanksgiving break we only had 2 lows the whole weekend. (rather then numerous ones in a day)  I am starting be be a little optimistic that maybe we have turned a corner.

When I dropped Lovebug off at school on Monday it was pretty normal. Except that she came in a little late because she had a doctors appointment.  We checked in at the office and talked with our wonderful secretary whom we will call Mrs R.  Mrs R asked how Lovebug's numbers had been over the weekend and it was nice to say they had been pretty good. A little high but at least we weren't dealing with all the lows.  After our brief conversation I walked her down to her classroom where all the kids saw her and came running to the door to greet Lovebug. (just warms my heart to see how excited they were to see her!)  My thought that we would quietly sneak into class and not interrupt was foiled.  Lovebug's teacher wasn't concerned and Lovebug walked over and gave her a big hug.  I walked away with a full hear knowing my little girl is in great hands.

Around lunch time I got the email from Mrs R.  Lovebug's blood sugar was 175.  There a couple exclamation points at the end of "Was send to lunch!!"  I could tell Mrs R was relieved Lovebug wasn't low, again.  About an hour later I picked up my cell phone and realized I had a missed call. It was Mrs R. I forgot to turn my phone ringer back on after we had left the doctors office.

I listed to the voice mail and called her back.  She told me she was happy Lovebug was 175 before lunch. She dosed her but said she just "had a feeling" and told Lovebug to come back after recess so she could re-test her.  When Lovebug came back to get retested, she was 62 and double arrows down on Dexie!!  Holy intuition!! I was SO thankful!

Now I know I have talked about Lovebug's school before but I just have to say it again. They are WONDERFUL.  They continually go above and beyond and I am so grateful.  You can tell that they genuinely care about Lovebug and her diabetes. I mean really, how many secretaries would tell a kid to come back and get tested later because THEY had a feeling about her blood sugar? I thought my hubby and I were they only ones who got those gut feelings!  For those of you who don't have a child with Type 1 it takes a bit to get a "feeling" when they are low or when something is off. You really have to be "in tune" with them and know them well.  That right there is just amazing to me. They have taken the time to really get to know Lovebug and watch for those signals. Then, just every once a while, follow a intuition.

Bedtime Blues

Last night we had a weak signal and Lost sensor error with Princess's CGM.  It isn't uncommon for us to receive this alarm when it's time to change the sensor.  It had been six days and I knew we needed to change it.  

The thing was that Princess was just lying on the couch and didn't look good.  My first thought went to diabetes. (of course)  Is she low?  Is she getting sick?  Is her blood sugar really high?  I got her meter out to check her blood sugar and she was 132. Not bad but with out the sensor I didn't know if she looked that way because her blood sugar was dropping fast or if she was just tired.  She wasn't telling me anything either.  That didn't make me feel any better that she wouldn't tell me.  

I thought about trying to start the CGM back up and see if we could get another night from it so I didn't have to change it until the morning.  I didn't want to but I tried, with no success.  I decided that it would be better if I just put a new sensor in. Better to go just a couple hours without the CGM rather then the entire night, especially considering how she was acting. 

While we were having "issues" with Princess's CGM Lovebug was low.  Dexie was telling me she was 70 with arrow straight down.  Normally I wouldn't worry about this, we would treat it and wait for it to go back up.  Considering it was right before bed, I was a little worried. (and wondering if this was what the whole night was going to look like)  Just about 15 minutes later when I was getting ready to check her again, Dexie beeped.  Dexie was saying she was 58 with arrow straight down still.  What in the world?  We re-checked her and she was 102.  She had gone up from the 70 she was before but Dexie just hadn't "caught" up yet.  We calibrated Dexie and sent Lovebug up to bed, knowing we would be up to check on her in a few when Princess was ready for bed.  

After we got the girls tucked into bed, I almost got teary eyed.  I admit, I was worried. Worried sick for both of them. I had made my hubby check Lovebug a few more times then I normally would because of it too.  Normally I am not so "paranoid" and don't worry quite so much, but my thoughts went back to what I had seen earlier that morning. Another parent living one of my worst nightmares.  Another young life lost to Diabetes.  

Daniella Meads-Barlow is her name.  She had Type 1 Diabetes and passed away in her sleep the morning of November 8th.  This is the reality of the disease my girls (heck, our whole family) live with.  I put my girls to bed each night knowing that there is a chance they may not wake up in the morning. 

Theses kids don't die because their parents neglected their diabetes or because they had "bad control".  It is just Type 1.  It's what it does. It is unpredictable.  It changes from one moment to the next, from one day to the next.  The JDRF just released a startling statistic. 1 in 20 (kids and adults) will die from low blood sugar. This is what happened to Daniella. 

This makes me cry. It makes it hard for me to sleep at night. It makes me more determined then ever to fight for a cure and to spread awareness of this disease.  But last night, it just made me want to hug my girls and hold them even closer.  

SMACK!

You know, some days it just feels like Diabetes is smacking you in the face. Over and over again.  Today I got a call from the secretary at Lovebug's school. She is the one, along with her teacher, that takes care of the majority of her diabetes care while she is there.  And I have to add that they do a SPECTACULAR job!

Lovebug has been running high at nigh, again.  No matter what I do her numbers are either too low or too high so I chose the lesser of two evils (in my opinion) and have been letting her stay a little on the high side.  Needless to say she woke up at 194 this morning. That isn't horrible but not good either.  Not when we were waking up with nice numbers like 109.

I bolused her for breakfast and "forgot" to do a combo bolus like we had been doing so she wouldn't go low after she eats (this has been an ongoing thing the past 6 weeks. She will go low and then never spike from her meal.  Then 2 to 3 hours later she is in the 3 or 4 hundreds, once the insulin is all out of her system) So when the secretary called at lunch today, I almost wasn't surprised to hear she was 44.  I didn't think she would be THAT low but with here there is no normal right now.

I, of course, over did it in correcting her.  Normally I would give her 2 maybe 3 glucose tabs to get her back up BUT because she was at school I told the secretary to give her 4.  Sure enough 15 minutes later she calls me back and says that Lovebug is 124 but she was acting a little lethargic so the teacher sent her back down to get checked.  Arrow is still going down on Dexie.  So I told her to still wait until after she eats to bolus her for lunch, just in case is perked up but then is going to go right back down. she did spike a bit and then came right back down. But here is a picture of Dexie.  See what I mean!  And this was actually a "good" day.

This is a daily struggle we have been having and I am really tired of it.  I want Lovebug's numbers to be back to "normal" again.  I hate that her Dexie at the end of the day looks more like mountain peaks and valleys then that nice rather straight line like it should be.  I really hate what diabetes does to her little body.  And to Princess's little body.  Her numbers have been a little better but 8 months into this we are STILL fighting highs, A LOT.

The girls have their 3 month endo check up on Monday and I am DREADING it.  I know just by looking at their numbers and averages on their meters that both girls A1C's will be up.  It's so hard because I know that we can do better but I am just stuggling with keeping them were they should be.

I especially worry about Lovebug and the effects that this has on her school work.  I know she is only in Kindergarten but I want her to be good for optimal learning. And for mine and the teachers sanity!  When Lovebug has crazy blood sugar swings, you have to watch out!  She gets rather moody.  And lately she has been coming home at the end of the day and crashing.  I really hate seeing her like that.

Needless to say diabetes has been "smacking" me in the face lately, and I am TIRED of it!!

One of those days

Since it has been almost a month since I last blogged, I thought I should let you all know I am still alive!  :)
Just been super busy and trying to get into a routine now that school is back in session.  And still getting used to having one of my d-kids in school!

Speaking of school, it is actually going pretty well.  Lovebug loves it and I love the teachers and staff just as much. They have been amazing and I am so blessed to have her at such a wonderful school.  I am reminded daily why I chose that school for her, despite there being no nurse on staff.

Just last week, we had a really bad day at school.  Seriously of the worse all around days I have had in a while and too boot it was a Monday.  Started out with the girls getting up late and me having to rush them around so they were ready in time.  Then as we are walking out the door, I notice Lovebug playing with her site and ask her what she is doing. She informed me she was plugging her site back in because she forgot to plug it back in when she got dressed.  WONDERFUL No breakfast bolus. I guess I will have to explain that to her teacher when I drop her off and hope that it doesn't ruin the whole day.

Two hours later I get a call from the school secretary that she in the 400's.  Oh, joy. Give her a correction dose.  I knew the high number was coming, just didn't think it would be quite THAT high.  Then at lunch she is still still coming down, I had the secretary calibrate Dexie.  Then when she was giving Lovebug her insulin the meter remote said it couldn't communicate with the pump.  Great.  She was standing right beside it, what is going on?  SO had to talk the secretary though how to check the bolus history. I  couldn't chance her not getting yet another bolus after what happened at breakfast. Good thing I had her check because she had gotten the entire bolus. Not sure why the meter remote was being funny.

The I got another call just 10 minutes later.  It was the secretary again.  Lovebug pulled her site out!!  Yes, I do know this happens, and up until now has only happened at home but at school? And during lunch??  I started to tell her that I would be right up to school to put a new one in and the secretary told me her assistant was sure she could put a new site in.  Really?  Seriously?  Well, Okay if you are comfortable I will walk you through it over the phone.

Sure enough she was completely comfortable and Lovebug even helped her out a bit.  Come to find out the assistants mom has Type 1 and she had helped her mom change her sites before.  How "cool" is that!  I was relieved and amazed at the same time.  That someone, a complete stranger to me, would be willing to change Lovebug's site.  Did I mention how much we LOVE her school!!  :)

I wasn't prepared

This morning started out like most mornings.  I got up at 5:30.  Got myself around and my hubby got up at 6am. I got the girls up at 6:30.  The girls fooled around, like they do most mornings and I was yelling at them to get ready because I was running a little behind and I didn't have time to help them out this morning.  They actually did pretty good, except for the fighting. It happens with 3 girls around the house all trying to get ready in the morning.

We got breakfast and were finally on track.  I was ready to get out the door to drop Lovebug off to school.  I turned around and looked at her and she had her pants pulled down a bit messing with her site.(which is on her bottom)  I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was hooking herself up because she forgot earlier.  Great.  That means she didn't get her breakfast insulin and is going to end up with a really HIGH blood sugar in about and hour and a half.

When I got to school I explained what happened to her teacher and told her she might have to send her down to the office to get bolused for her snack today.  As I expected, I received a call around snack time and it was the Secretary.  Lovebug was 420.  I expected it and instructed her to give her a correction bolus and not bolus for the snack since she goes to recess right after. I asked her what Dexie was saying as far as arrows, I wanted to know what direction her blood sugar was trending.  Of course Dexie was ???  Seriously Dexie?  Right now? At school?  I explained we get ??? on Dexie every once in a while and to just keep a close eye on her since it wasn't working.

I got another call from Lovebug's teacher about an hour later.  She was up to 480.  Okay, great. I really should have bolused her for her snack but there is that little thing called hind-site.  Then an hour later it was lunch time.  Got a call from the secretary that she was 319 but arrow was down on Dexie.  I instructed her to just give insulin for the carbs and no correction since she was heading down already.  Of course Dexie was 100+ points off so I had the secretary calibrate Dexie, but Dexie was greedy and wanted 2 bg's not just one.  Then as she was actually bolusing Lovebug for lunch and the meter remote for the pump gave that nice warning.  "Bolus cancelled, move devices closer together."  So I had to talk the secretary through looking through the bolus history to see if she had actually received her bolus.  She had received it, which is usually the case but had to make sure. I didn't want a repeat of breakfast!

Five minutes later the phone rings AGAIN.  School name was on the caller id.  I almost wanted to answer the phone with "What is wrong now??"  I didn't though.  The secretary said the lunch lady had sent Lovebug back down to the office.  She her site was falling off.  WONDERFUL.  I was getting ready to tell them I would be right up to put a new one in when the secretary told me that the office assistant said if I could walk her through it on the phone she would be comfortable doing it.  Really?  I was pleasantly surprised but she explained to me that her mom has Type 1 and she had helped her with site changes before so she was okay doing it.  She just said her moms looked a little different.  I walked her through it on the phone and Lovebug even helped her out.  It went really smoothly and I didn't receive any more phone calls the rest of the day.

To say the least I was just a nervous wreck all morning.  I knew this could happen but all of this in the same day?  Sheesh.  I just wasn't ready for it.  And on a Monday to boot.  I seriously don't know how all you moms out there who have had your T1 kids in school for a while do it!  I just wanted to run to school and bring her home for the rest of the day!  Even though I knew that would not be good for her. Lovebug just loves going to school and I knew unless she was really sick she would not want to come home.  I just wasn't prepared for the whole emotional part of it.  Why does this make me so emotional?  I just wanted to cry. Why is it so hard to send them to school?  Even when I know that she is in really good hands.

I guess it's probably just my motherly instinct, right?  I don't want to say that I worry when ever she is with someone else, but I do.  I don't want to but I still do.  It's hard. It's just plain hard.  Hard to let someone else be there to comfort her and "fix" her up.

I know those of you with kiddo's in school understand what I am talking about.  Rather you have a good situation at school or a not so great one.  Despite all my worry and fears we are very blessed to have wonderful, caring staff at our school.  I am just simply blown away by how much they have gone out of their way for her and how much they truly care for Lovebug.  Words can not express my gratitude for the staff there.  I just want to give them all big hugs and a HUGE thank you because if they only knew how hard it is to send her to school in the first place.

Surviving School

I have dreaded this day for the past couple of years. Lovebug's first day of school. I remember thinking when she was diagnosed that we would probably have her on a pump by then and off of shots. Realizing how much better control we could get with pumping, it happened just a little over 5 months after Lovebug was diagnosed.

School was only a finite idea in my mind at that point.  Mostly because Lovebug's older sister, Peanut had just started Kindergarten.  As time went by and I learned more about my T1 kiddo going to school, I started to dread it, not look forward to it as I did with Peanut.

I got a little taste of what it would be like to have a d-kid in school last year.  We had to train the preschool teachers on a few things, but not everything because Lovebug was only at school for a couple hours.  When I started working on our 504 plan for this year a few weeks ago and I got a little overwhelmed.

How much do you tell them?  Everything? Do you scare the staff so they don't want to make a mistake?  I decided to tell them what they needed to know and nothing more.  Just enough to make them overwhelmed but not enough to "scare" them.  I want them to be comfortable around Lovebug, not handle her with kids gloves.

I worked for hours and piecing together a 504 plan that worked for us.  I found a lot of them on my fellow D Mamas blogs.  It was a great resource.  It helped give me a starting point.  Without that starting point I am sure I would have been LOST.  I felt lost anyway, even with all the help.

Then came all the instructions sheets on how to operate the pump, how to check blood sugar, how to operate Dexie and what to do in case of a high or low blood sugar.  Then I had to come up with a schedule of when I wanted her blood sugar checked during the day.  And with every day being a little different we basically have a different schedule everyday.  I also had to decided at what blood sugar levels  I wanted the school staff to notify me.  It seriously makes my head spin just thinking about it all again.

Then all of this got me thinking back to when Peanut (our oldest and only non D-kid) started school.  I sent her off with out a care.  Yes, it was a little bittersweet because she was growing up but I really enjoyed watching her blossom and grow.  I think watching her learn to read was one of my favorite things.  While I am very grateful that Peanut does not have diabetes I am reminded how much I miss the other two NOT having Type 1.  It reminds me of what life could have been like for Lovebug and Princess.  That part weighs heavy on my heart strings.

Needless to say, I was a wreck sending Lovebug to school this morning.  Would the staff actually follow everything in the 504?  Would they do the right thing if she went low? I tried to keep shoving the what if's out of my head and just be happy for her.  She was so excited!!

I went in and double checked with Mrs. L to make sure she was comfortable and ready. I  went over her blood sugar check schedule and gave her the instructions for Dexie. (which I had forgotten about the week before! oops.)  Lovebug was in her seat and waving good bye.  She was ready to get on with her day and I was ready to cry.  I have mention that I also LOVE the fact that Mrs L had laminated all of the instructions I had given her and they were hanging on a ring right by the door where Lovebug puts her diabetes bag.  Mrs L is great!

I waited all morning for a phone call.  I assumed I would get one around snack time. Nope, no phone call.  Then I knew I would get one at lunch and sure enough, Mrs. R (our secretary) called so I could walk her through dosing her with the pump.  I was almost shocked when she told me Lovebug's blood sugar was 190. I fully expected it to be higher!  I was very relieved it wasn't though.  Mrs. R only covered part of the carbs in Lovebug's lunch (since recess is right after lunch)  and away Lovebug went to lunch.

Mrs. L called me later in the afternoon to let me know that Lovebug had gone low. (I thought to myself, great...the first day and we are already dealing with lows)  Needless to say we figured out she hadn't eaten all of her lunch!  She has a lunch pail with two sections in it and I put her cucumbers and peaches in the bottom  section.  I didn't have the peaches covered for lunch because they were supposed to be her "exercise snack" for recess. That backfired since it was apparent Lovebug forgot they were in there! I think we might have to get a lunch pail with only one pocket.

Mrs L. told me she gave her two Starburst and then a granola bar, just like I had instructed her to do.  It was perfect.  She said Dexie said 74 and arrow up.  I reminded her Dexie can lag behind and that the arrow up was the most important thing at this point.  I was so impressed they followed my instructions to the tee!  It was wonderful!!

Lovebug's first day of school went off with out much of a hitch.  I was disappointed she missed Music because of the low bg but that wasn't her fault.  Stupid diabetes.  At least now I won't be so nervous when she goes back to school on Friday!

DexCom and Guardian: Our Comparison

Nablopomo ~Day 27

Yesterday I wrote about our experience with the Medtronic Revel and what we like and don't like about it. I thought today I would go ahead and talk about the two CGM's we have around our house; The DexCom and Medtronic Guardian.

Lovebug has been using the DexCom for a little over a year now.  We love it.  Honestly, I would be LOST with out it. I feel much more comfortable when Lovebug is wearing Dexie, which is 99% of the time!  I don't like to have her not hooked up to it.  It's like my security blanket, especially when she is at school or when someone is watching her. I don't worry about them having to recognize how she acts when she is low. Sometimes she doesn't act any different.  I have tested her before when she is 36 and is acting completely normal. Then she has been 72 and having a complete meltdown. You just never know with Lovebug.   Lovebug doesn't recognize her lows and the DexCom is a HUGE help with that.  I am positive we have saved her from a trip to the hospital or worse because of  her Dexie (our nickname for "her".) While we have had a few band sensors here and there our overall experience has been great.

Princess uses the Medtronic Guardian, compassionately known as Mini around our home.  Mini is very reliable and we love her too.  What we love most is the fact there is no separate unit to carry around like there is with the DexCom.  The CGM is integrated into the pump and that makes things a lot easier.  Especially with Princess who is very petite and skinny.  One of the downsides to the DexCom is having to carry the receiver with you everywhere.  So Lovebug always looks like she is a bit bulky under her clothing.  Drives me crazy but at the same time I really couldn't live with out it.  It's a bit of a sleep and worry saver around here.

On the bright side Animas has a pump out called the Vibe with a integrated CGM using DexCom's technology.  But like everything else out there that is great and cutting edge technology in the world of diabetes care, it's not available in the states yet.  It's only in Europe.  Darn FDA.  I can not wait to get my hands on that pump!  I am hoping that it will be available in the states in the next couple years.  Earlier would be better because then we could do an upgrade and try it for a while before Lovebug's pump warranty is up and we get to purchase another one.  

To be honest, I prefer the DexCom over the Guardian. Not because one is superior to the other because in my opinion the both do a great job and are very accurate. The DexCom is so much simpler to use and the transmitter isn't as bulky as the Guardian's. 

The DexCom insertion is easier. The insertion tool is a all in one combo and very easy to use, you never touch or get close to the insertion needle since it is enclosed.  The Guardian is a little complicated at first, but you get used to it pretty quickly.  I HATE having to pull out the insertion needle. It drives me crazy and still creeps me out just a bit. There are a lot more steps.  Now to the Guardian's defense Medtronic has a smaller sensor out in Europe called the Enlite Sensor and according to my Medtronic rep there is one that is what I call an all in one package like the DexCom.  Now I don't know if that is how the Enlite Sensor works or not but at least it is smaller and there is no need to wear a huge adhesive patch over it like we do now.  It would be an added bonus if the insertion "tool" as I call it was all in one like the DexCom.

The other thing I like about the DexCom is that the sensor is approved for 7 days and the Guardian is only approved for 3 days of wear.(here in the states anyway) In Europe where they have the Enlite Sensor and in Canada and Europe where they can also get the Medtronic Veo, (another pump that I would love to get my hands on!) the sensor is approved for 6 days of wear.

When the DexCom receiver is out of range of the transmitter (meaning they aren't close enough to collect any data) it only takes up to 5 minutes to get a signal and a reading from the receiver.  With the Guardian, if you get away from the sensor for too long (like when swimming) you get a Weak Signal and then eventually what they call a Lost Sensor.  Rather then just getting the pump and sensor back in range of each other you have to tell the pump to locate the sensor again and then it takes about 10-15 minutes before it can find a signal and then you have to enter a BG.  I really wish this feature was a little more user friendly. I have been told ours should only take 5 minutes yet is still doesn't work that way for us.  I'm probably doing some small thing wrong and one of these days I will figure out what the small thing is!

Overall my experience with both of them has been great.  Like I said before, my only reason for preferring the DexCom over the Guardian is the ease of use and smaller transmitter. With that said Medtronic does have those available, just not in the states. Really they are both excellent CGM's and I would recommend both of them.  Just depends on which pump you are using and rather you prefer to have the CGM integrated or not and that, to me, is a very personal preference that you have to consider when you choose a pump.  That is why my girls have two different pumps.  It's not because I prefer one pump over the other. (or one company over another). It's because I did what was best for each kid when the decision had to be made about which pump to choose and I don't second guess myself for a minute.

We didn't know that a CGM would be so valuable to Lovebug or we may have gone another route. We loved the fact that Animas had the remote and (at the time) could deliver smaller doses then the Medtronic.  Those were good fits for us (and Lovebug) and still are, despite the fact that she has to wear her pump and CGM receiver around her waist.

Just like I wouldn't change the fact that I knew I wanted to CGM for Princess right away and I also knew that her carrying around a separate receiver would just not work for her. Like I said before, she is just too petite and too skinny.  So I did my research, I asked a lot of questions and made my choice for her and I wouldn't change a thing.

Combo Bolus Squared

Nablopomo ~ Day 19

When I first decided to go with two different pumps for the girls, I thought I might be taking on too much. Maybe I had lost my mind?  Well, I am pretty sure I lost it a couple years ago when Lovebug was diagnosed but I was thinking pretty clearly when I choose to go a different route for Princess then I had for Lovebug.

So, when it came time to choose a pump for Princess, I was immediately drawn to the Medtronic Revel with the integrated CGM.  I knew the CGM would befit her and if I could avoid her having to carry two devices around her waist like her sister, then I was going to go for it.  Of course I had some reservations about Medtronic's Guardian. The size and the insertion are a lot different then the DexCom and I was a little uncomforable at first.  I decided to call our endo and see if there was a trial like with the DexCom.  Thankfully there was and after a few days, I was hooked.  I knew we were going the right route with Princess and her pump.

Needless to say, there are A LOT of things that I LOVE about the Medtronic Revel.  One of my favorite is what they call the Square Wave Bolus.  At first I was a little "scared" to use it, but I was like that with the Combo Bolus on the Lovebug's Ping.  Are you wondering what the heck a Square Wave Bolus is? Well here you go:

Square Wave Bolus: delivers a bolus evenly over a period of time (30 minutes up to 8 hours). This bolus can be used for insulin delivery when you have eaten a long meal with extended snacking (commonly called grazing!) It can also be useful for delayed food digestion or (my favorite) meals high in fat (hello Pizza!) A Square Wave bolus can be useful if a normal bolus drops your blood sugar too rapidly.  

Can I hear a WOO HOO! I LOVE this bolus!  It works GREAT with ice cream, pasta and pizza. (for Princess anyway)  All the foods with fat or slow adsorbing carbs.  It has worked SO well for Princess that I found myself wishing that Lovebug's pump had that feature.

Cue the "aha moment"!  One day I was thinking about the Combo Bolus and how it works on the Ping. Remembering that you can give a certain percentage of insulin upfront and a certain percentage of the bolus of a period of time. Then it hit me...I bet I could do a Square Wave bolus using the Combo Bolus on the Ping.  How, you ask?  Well let me explain.

Remember that a Square Wave gives you your entire bolus over a set amount of time. It drags it out, so to speak.  Well, I figured with the Combo Bolus if I gave 0% up front and 100% over a certain period of time, wouldn't that be the same as a Square Wave Bolus on the Medtronic?  A couple weeks ago I got brave and tried it when we had pizza for dinner.  And you know what? IT WORKED!!!  Lovebug didn't have a delayed spike from the pizza!!  She stayed nice and steady!  I was super excited!! (yes, I have used it numerous times since then and It's still working!)

Another common problem we have with Lovebug is that she will be low before a meal, we will wait to bolus her until after she is done eating (yes, we typically bolus before meals, for both of the girls) and then a couple hours later we check her (or Dexie is beeping at us) and her blood sugar is HIGH.  Then we do the big, "oops" I forgot, yet again!  Ugh, I hate it when I forget and she suffers for it!!

So another conclusion I came to was, why not use a Squared Combo Bolus (as I call it) for Lovebug when she is low before a meal? (I am talking  between 60 and 80 here) I can still bolus her (because she isn't getting any insulin up front) and then by the time her blood sugar is back up and her food is starting to kick in, the insulin is starting to trickle into her system. Hence no low blood sugar and no rebound spikes from the low either. And guess what?  I tried it and IT WORKED!!  It works wonderfully!

Needless to say, I am VERY happy!  These two little "discoveries" were a God send to me. It has made managing Lovebug's crazy numbers a little easier.  Anything to make this disease a little easier to handle makes for one (a little) happier mama!!

Summertime

I't's been a couple weeks since I  blogged.  Summer busyness is here in all it's glory, right along with all the craziness the diabetes x2 brings to our life.

I have to admit that I haven't been in the best of moods lately.  Down in the dumps would be a pretty good description.  I am basically just doing what I need to to get by.  I feel like the fog from Princess diagnosis is starting to clear a little bit, some days.

I have been tweaking basal rates for both girls lately, which is driving me crazy. I wish I could just work on one at a time but for some reason they need to be tweaked at the same time.  They only way I can keep them straight is to download their pumps every couple days so I can look at everything on paper. And then pray that I remember what might have caused a particular high or low blood sugar.  Sometimes I am pretty sure my brain was not meant to hold all this information!

We have had some hiccups with Princess pump. Mostly with the sensors for the CGM. They have been a little wonkey lately. (then again Dexie hasn't been on her best behavior either!) I think that we just got a bad box of them since the new box I opened has been better.  But then last night it keep giving me the "Low Predicted" alarm when she wasn't low and no arrows going down.  Kinda frustrating in the middle of the night!  I seriously was up every hour last night between Lovebug's Dexie with ??? on her and Lovebug with a bg of 73 at 12am (an hour after I went to bed) It took her and hour and a half to get back up to 130 and I turned her basal off for a couple hours.  It was a little crazy. I am already compiling my list of pro's and con's between the girl's different pumps.  I am leaning towards liking one a bit better then the other, but I will save all of that for another post.  :)

Then there is just getting used to summer "hours"  I find some of my basal tweaks are just because the girls are going to bed later and getting up later so I have to push basal rates back by an hour or two.  And to think I will have to change it all back come September!  Gives the lazy days of summer a whole new meaning....

I promise I will try to be around more.  I love blogging. It's therapeutic for me.  I just need to force myself to find time to sit down and actually blog.  Now a days my free time is a bit limited and I usually end up doing stuff that needs to be done rather then stuff for fun.  Blogging really is much more fun then doing housework!

Our Life Saver.

36 and double arrows down on Dexie. 

Now THAT is something I never thought that I would see. If I did see I assumed I would be administering Glucagon because that would mean one of the girls was dangerously low. 

Today, I saw it.  One of my fears, realized, yet again.  Honestly I really wish my fears would QUIT becoming reality and my hopes and dreams would become reality instead.  Yep, 36 and double arrows down.  You know what? There was no Glucagon, no call to 911 because of a seizure or because Lovebug had passed out.  Nope none of that.  WHY? 

BECAUSE SHE WAS ACTING COMPLETELY NORMAL!!!

What in the world?!  They only way I knew she was that low, was because of Dexie.  Dexie alerted me to Lovebug's low.  Dexie, not Lovebug, Dexie.  As you can see I am having a hard time digesting this one.  The fact that Lovebug was acting completely NORMAL while at 36 boggles my mind!  How is that even possible?  After I checked her and low and behold she was actually 36.  Typically I would have taken a picture of this but for some reason I was SCARED.  So scared I literally dropped everything and made her sit down and drink a juice pouch immediately.  

I can't even begin to tell you how much that terrified me today. For a split second I thought of that what if....I let my mind go there and I freaked out.  I was shaking I was so upset.  I guess the whole reality of Lovebug and Princess having Diabetes was right in my face today.  I didn't like it one bit. It made me very uncomfortable.  I know all the bad things that can happen with diabetes. I just don't let myself go there. I can't. But for a split second (okay, maybe 2) my mind went there with the "what if's".  

I thought about the "what if" we didn't have Dexie? What if I had never thought to push for a CGM?  What if Dexie hadnt' been here today? Would the worst of happened?  I wonder how many time Dexie has saved Lovebug's life.  Literally SAVED her life and I don't even realize it?  

All I can say is for Lovebug, Dexie is a godsend. I don't know where I would be without that extra piece of equipment attached to her.  I'm not sure I could function if she didn't have it. At least knowing what I know now.  When we first looked into getting a CGM I was VERY hesitant.  Mostly because I didn't want Lovebug to carry around two separate units. I mean really, that's a lot for a 4 year old to wear around her waist. A year later, I have a entirely different outlook on the whole thing.  Yes,  It really looks horrible under her shirt.  She looks like she is carrying around extra weight around her waist.  BUT  I wouldn't trade the little bit of security it brings to our family's life for ANYTHING.  

What a night...

10pm - Lovebug come bounding down the stairs...Dexie says LOW.  That's odd.  Lovebug is rarely low at night, much less the first half of the night...check bg....yep 59.  Sheesh, she was 95 arrow up at 8 when I put her to bed, what is going on?  3 glucose tabs and 30 minutes later we are back up to 133, and back to bed. 

12:30am - creeeeek,   I wake up to my bedroom door opening...it's Lovebug, again.  Dexie is saying low...send Lovebug out to living room and drag my bum out of bed. Check bg - 73.  Seriously??  3 Glucose tabs and  20 minutes later we are up to 93 but arrow up on Dexie, set temp basal rate for few hours to be sure and send her back to bed.  Oh yes, and I  almost forgot to mention that she heard thunder and didn't want to go back to bed. (for some reason she is terrified of Thunder....I wonder if it's a middle child thing....)

2:30am - BEEP! BEEP! (thinking to self: stupid alarm) look at clock...2:26 am.  

Drag myself out of bed, grab both meters and drag myself up the stairs to the girls bedroom....check Princess,   Princess jerks her arm in her sleep and rolls over dragging Mini with her and almost pulling site out.  Blood drop on sheets instead of the test strip. Try again. Roll her back over, grab finger, poke, just about get blood on strip and she jerks her hand away, again. Um, really?!  Now there is blood on her face.  Great. Pull out alcohol wipe and clean it off.  Lets try this again...roll her back over, grab finger, poke, jerks her arm again and she kicks me!!!  (yes, Princess is doing this ALL in her sleep.)  Well dag nab it!!  It freaking 2:30am REALLY?!  I JUST want to go back to bed.  By now I am fully awake and just a little frustrated.  Repeat process for the 4th time...finally get a bg and she is 134.  Wonderful number but I know she is never going to hold through the rest of the night, so downstairs I go to acquire a juice pouch.  Back upstairs I am thankful she drinks in her sleep, I don't even have to make her sit up.  Juice takes a couple more minutes to drink down.  (she is SLOW compare to Lovebug. Lovebug sucks those pouches down in an instant in her sleep!) 

Now about 2:50am.  I haven't even checked Lovebug yet.  I look at Dexie, 88. UM WHAT!?  What in the world is going on...I really just want to go back to bed!!  Do finger poke and confirm...bg is 93.  Well crap.  Wake her up and give 3 more glucose tabs and another temp basal for a couple hours.  Finally, back to bed. 

5:30am - wake up to beeping via the baby monitor....it's Mini. Friggin' fantastic!!.  (I am pretty sure I used a much more colorful word here ) Low predicted bg 95. Oh joy.  Check bg and she is 81.  What a way to "wake" up. 3 glucose tablets consumed.  Did I mention that this caused ALL 3 girls to get up early!? 

Nights like last night are a perfect example; a perfect example of why we NEED a cure.

Did I mention that I HATE Diabetes!?  

One of our FAVORITE things...AND....A Super Sweet Sugar Bolus!

**THIS SUGAR BOLUS IS CLOSED**


Welcome to Sweet to the Soul's very FIRST 

Sugar Bolus!!! 

In honor of Lovebug on her 2nd Diaversary I thought I giveaway one of our favorite D-items.  

You see, a few months back we had a pump pouch malfunction. I had to order something and fast. I didn't have time to sew anything, and that hadn't really been working great since we got Dexie anyway.  They weren't pretty and I just was not happy with them.

At that point I HAD to order something and fast.  I had looked at a couple different pouches that I had been drawn to before.  One of them was the Tummietote Belts by Tallygear.  They looked like they would hold up well to Lovebug's ruff and tumble ways. Believe me she is one very active child!  (If she doesn't play sports, I will be SHOCKED!) I also LOVED the fact you could get a clear vinyl window on one of the pockets. So, we look a leap and ordered.

Let me tell you I have been nothing but impressed!! These belts are PERFECT for Lovebug. They stay put and don't bounce around.  I am in love with the fact that there are three pockets. Then, depending on what side of Lovebug's bottom her site is on, I can switch it up so her cord is hidden more easily. Her preschool teachers love the clear pouch so they aren't having to take Dexie out all the time. (that is also one of my favorite features.) I also love the fact that the belt actually fits her!  It's not too big or too small and I can adjust it when needed.

Some Pictures of Lovebug wearing her pouch.  

I love that you can hardly tell it is under her shirt.  

My favorite part of the belt (besides the three pockets) is the Velcro closure in the back.  I can not count how many times Lovebug has said to me that she loves this belt because it doesn't pinch her.  You do not even want to know how many times I had crocodile tears running down her sweet checks because I had pinched her with the other belts she wore.

The belt may have been made for putting your diabetes supplies in but you can use it for SO much more! You can use it to put your i-pod, cell phone cash and keys in when you are working out or going on a quick errand.  Tummietote has made me a very loyal customer! I know you will love them too!

So in honor of Lovebug we are giving away a Tummietote belt of your choice this week!!  

Here is what you need to do:

• Leave me a comment before Midnight on Thursday, April 7th. Please include your first name. Comments left without a name will be eliminated. 
• To earn extra entries (post a separate comment for each):
• Tweet about this giveaway on Twitter. (remember to leave an additional comment)
• Share a link to this contest on Facebook (again, remember to leave another comment)
• Blog about this contest. (then remember to leave a comment containing the link to the post)
• No duplicate comments are allowed.  Duplicate comments will be eliminated. 
• The winner will be selected via random draw at http://www.random.org/
• The winners' name will be posted here on the blog Friday, April 8th. 
• After the winner is posted , the winner will have 48 hours to send me a message at  sweet2thesoul@gmail.com. If I do not hear from the winner within 48 hours, a new winner will be selected.  

 Good Luck!!!  

2am Madness

I am sitting her wide awake thanks to a low blood sugar number for Lovebug.  We had one earlier in the night, Lovebug came down because Dexie woke her up.  Then when I went up for my infamous 2/2:30 check and looked at Dexie.  74 and arrow straight down.  Finger poke said 72.  Dang, caught that one.  To top it off Lovebug had wet the bed so I had to fully wake her up and change her clothes and sheets.  I just LOVE having to do all that at 2:30 in the morning.  Really, it's my favorite thing! (sarcasm intended there folks)  


As I sit here (Lovebug back to sleep blood sugar going back up) completely unable to get back to sleep I find myself getting mad. MAD at diabetes. MAD at everything. You see my emotions and everything else seem a bit amplified this time of night and all the more harder to bear. This would be the time of night I cry the most often. I am so impatient this time of day.  I cursed at Dexie tonight, twice!!  Even though I LOVE that little machine!  I would be LOST without her.  I would  get even less sleep then I get now, if that is even possible.  What is it with me?  Why can I not hold it together when I am sleep deprived and trying to take care of diabetes at 2:30am? Maybe it's because my brain is going 80 miles and hour and my body about 5.  I don't know....


It's nights like these that I just want my old life back. My life before diabetes.  When I could sleep all night and not worry every day.  When I could just let Lovebug be a kid all the time, not just some of the time.  When I didn't have to burden her teachers or childcare workers at church with the extra responsibility.  Back before I didn't know what in the world a carbohydrate was or how to count them. I want to go back to when I didn't understand what a I:C ratio, bolus or basal was.  I just want to go back.  I don't want Lovebug to suffer anymore, I don't want to suffer anymore.  


I was reading Hallie's post This is LOVE calling. (another thing I did while I was up tonight, caught up on some of my blog reading!) Boy did I need to be reminded of that tonight. The song she quoted by Toby Mac is a song I jam to quite often.  Despite me losing my way, I will get back up again. Shoot, I have to pick my self back up again every day, sometimes numerous times a day!!  You really should go over to Hallie's blog and read her post, the song is playing on her music player!  You will know what I mean when you listen to the song. Those of you who really know me know the song fits me to a T.  


In all seriousness, I am not even 2 full years into this and I already feel like I am burning out.  How am I going to keep doing this? How is Lovebug going to do this her whole life?  My body hurts, my head hurts and my heart hurts.  Everything just plain hurts.  I'm tired of not being about to get diabetes off my mind.  I'm tired of site changes,sensor changes and the smell of insulin.  But every day I have to get back up and do it all over again. I don't have a choice. 


Despite everything, I accept it. Diabetes has taught me A LOT about my self. My faith has grown and my relationship with my husband is stronger then ever.  I know God has dealt us this for a reason. A reason I may not ever know in this lifetime, but I'm okay with that. Well, maybe not always in the middle of the night when I am half awake and frustrated but I know.  I know in my heart, even if my head doesn't always go along with it!  We all have our bad days and moments, right?  Mine just seem to come in the middle of the night. 

Our Christmas

Ours was different this year.  Normally we have the hub bub of driving from here and there and everywhere but this year, we decided to stay home.  Since this was our first year just the 5 of us I decided that I had to finish my Christmas shopping that morning.  (I would not recommend this nor will I do this in the future.) I ended up spending all morning and part of the afternoon shopping.  I love shopping but just no on Christmas Eve. 

We had a very relaxing evening though.  I made a virtually carb free dinner of Chicken wings, carrots, cucumbers, cheese slices, brown n serve rolls and pickles.  (the pickles  were supposed to be Pickle Wraps but I forgot the meat for them and didnt' realize it until I went to make them...) 

We let the girls stay up late and we watched The Chronicles Of Narnia (the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) with them.  This was one of my favorite books growing up and the girls just love the movie.  ( I can't wait to see the new one that just came out!) 

After the girls went to bed I wrapped presents and stuffed stockings for Christmas morning.  I finally made it to bed at 1am Christmas morning! 

I had dreams of how Christmas morning would be this year.  Well, you all know about dreams and the fact they rarely come true....

It wasn't that mine didn't come true but it all started out much different then I would have liked.

I didn't wake up to the sound of the girls asking if we could open presents yet, I woke up to Lovebug telling me that Dexie was broken. HUH?  I shook my head.  Did I hear her right?  Dexie is BROKEN?!  As I look at Dexie, she isn't broken.  (thank God!!)  She does need a sensor change though. I wanted Christmas to be free of site changes and sensor changes.  Thanks D.  That was a great way to start Christmas morning off.  

Needless to say I did not want the girls to have to wait any longer then they already had to wait to open presents.  I decided to wait until bedtime to put a new sensor in and go without Dexie for the day.  Normally, this would have sent me into a panic but for some reason, I just went with the flow.  

We decided to make it a tradition to have breakfast before the girls open gifts.  Although I read somewhere among the many blogs I caught up on today that someone leaves a few unwrapped so they have something to play with while breakfast is being made.  I thought that was a great idea!  We might have to try that for next year.  

I had a grand breakfast planned but the girls would have nothing of it, they wanted to eat cereal for breakfast.  Well then, eat cereal and mom will enjoy the cinnamon rolls! So cereal it was for the kids and eggs for mom and dad.  

The girls managed to spill on their pajamas during breakfast so we had them get dressed before we opened presents.  A very typical thing for them.  We usually by them pajamas to open on Christmas Eve so they get to wear them for  Christmas morning, well good thing I didn't do that this year!  

The girls loved all the gifts. There wasn't a lot but as you can see they had a few favorites!  

Princess and her new Dora spinning toothbrush

Princess loves her new Tag Reader, and the Miss Spider book!

The look of exhilaration from receiving princess lip gloss and body glitter! 

Lovebug opening her Fancy Nancy Doll

You can't tell she is excited about it or anything...

The Fancy Nancy blanket that I made her.  The front of it looks just like her doll. 

I don't think she likes it at all....

My Hello Kitty fanatic! 

A large Hello Kitty to go with the new Comforter.

A better picture of "Hello Kitty". 

Opening the Wii, Peanut got it right away. The other two took a minute! 

We spent the afternoon playing Wii, watching TV and making crafts with the girls. It was a pretty relaxing afternoon.  

This was the first year we have had Christmas dinner at our house with just our family.  It was really nice but for some reason, I had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. (that is a whole other blog post)  It really didn't hit me until a couple days before. Then I was just overwhelmed with things to accomplish. Christmas dinner just didn't end up being my thing this year.  I decided to make one of my favorite Chicken dishes this year rather then try to pick something new.  I really wanted Prime Rib, but that stuff isn't cheap.  I am saving up for next year though!  I made a few of the family favorites, like my mashed potatoes and rolls.  Nothing too fancy this year but I have 12 months to think about next Christmas!  

Even though this Christmas was different from years past, It really ended up being one of my favorite.  I will remember it and cherish it forever. 

Last Minute

After one horribly long day I am sitting here wishing it wasn't 11pm at night.  Where did the time go today?? I started earlier today and never got it finished.  Time (and sleep) have certainly slipped away from me the past 24 hours.  


I spent last night up every hour from 11p until 3:30a chasing low blood sugars. Apparently her blood sugar didn't want to go above 86 last night. (this was after 3 juice boxes)  *sigh*  I finally got it up to 106 at 3:30a decided to let Dexie let me know if she went low again. (with a decreased basal rate of 40%, truthfully I was so frustrated that I almost just disconnected the pump.)  I actually ended up with a 2 hour stretch of sleep, but that was it.  


Now it is time to start checking again and I am just praying that I don't end up with another night like last night.  I NEED sleep.  I am so tired my eyelids feel heavy.  I didn't even know that could really happen, until I became a sleep deprived D Mama.  


Anyway, now I am off to bed so sleep can be attempted.  Did I mention that I am the ONLY person awake in my home right now?? (rolls eyes)


Good night my friends!  

Emotional Ramblings

I have been thinking about what to write all day.  Usually I have this decided the day before but I decided to be a busy body  yesterday and never actually had time to sit down and think about it. Today has been a really good day, I feel like I don't get too many of those these days so I treasure the ones I do get. 


This afternoon, I was sitting in the living room and Lovebug was across the room on the couch.  I saw her wake up about 4 or 5 times because Dexie kept vibrating. Dexie had double arrows down, which means Lovebug's blood sugar is dropping rapidly. This happens a lot, especially after I give her a correction dose.  For the most part she will go down to her target range and then even out.  Today, like so many days after lunch, (for some reason this is becoming a normal thing after lunch, dropping about and 45 minutes after she eats) she had double arrows down and just kept going.  I was keeping a close eye on her and walked out of the room for a minute.  When I came back, she was out. (the only 20 minutes she napped all afternoon.) 


I thought to myself that she must be exhausted going from 238 down to 133 in a half hour.  I wonder what that feels like.  It must be miserable.  At that moment, like so many other moments, I had tears in my eyes.  


My baby shouldn't have to go through this.  She shouldn't have to feel that way and deal with this horrible disease.  At that moment I asked God, (in my head) why her?  Why couldn't you have just given it to me?  Why does she have to suffer?  Why do any of these kids have to suffer?  It's heartbreaking and emotional.  


Even though I may never know why she was chosen to fight this horrible disease, it is a blessing to see her be so strong.  She is so brave. Braver then I would be if it was me. Even though I would take it from her in a heartbeat,  I question whether or not I could really handle it.  Seeing her be so brave and strong has made me stronger.  


(in some ways) I'm glad she isn't too aware of things yet.  At least she doesn't voice that she is.  I know that day is coming when she will, but I dread it anyway.  Part of me wants her to stay so innocent and not fully understand what she has to "look forward" to later in life.  The obstacles and stereotypes she will have to overcome.    


All of it makes me sad and sometimes mad.  I try not to think about it but the fact is it's always in the back of my mind and the littlest thing can bring it to the front.  Veterans Day for example.  I think of all the Mothers and Fathers who have kids in Iraq or Afghanistan and how they worry.  I can relate and my heart breaks for them.  I worry about my child everyday. She (we) is (are) staring her mortality in the face everyday just as those brave soldiers are overseas.  Yes, totally different circumstances but the worry is the same. The worry of losing our children.  


I wish to God I could just forget about it and live life, but I can't.  It's a burden that I carry with me always.  I can't get away from it because her diabetes isn't going away anytime soon. It is in every part of my life. It follows me where ever I go, even in my sleep.  Shoot, I can't even get a full nights sleep because I have to get up at least a couple times a night to check her blood sugar. I can't just walk away from it.  I wish I could though!! 


I really hate this disease!  It consumes my life in so many ways.  I really wish it didn't but when you are talking about your child's life, how can something that affects them not consume you? 


In light of November being Diabetes Awareness Month, I have felt a deep need to educate and make people aware, and I'm not going to apologize for it. I will not apologize for bombarding you with information on Diabetes.  I'm doing this for my daughter and all of you out there will just have to deal with it.  I'm a fighter and fighting this disease had made me one tough chica! 


There you have it, my emotional rambling for the day.  

Apples, Cider and Donuts....Oh My!!

Today was Lovebug's FIRST field trip!  To the Apple Orchard!

Lovebug got to ride the bus for the very first time and was super excited! Something her big sister, Peanut is very jealous about since she is in 2nd grade and has not yet had a ride on a school bus. She was a little worried at first that there weren't any seat belts, but she soon realized that she liked that!  I had a hard time getting her to stay seated.  She also asked the bus driver to turn the air on when we were headed home.  Everyone got a good laugh out of that one!

On our way to the Orchard!

The first thing the kids did when we got there was learned about how the apples grow.  Then the got to get on a wagon ride and go out into the orchard and pick apples and pumpkins.  Of course D had to show it's ugly head and we ended up with a low bg of 55 on the wagon ride. Good thing Dexie alerted me and good thing I came prepared! By the time we got done picking the apples Lovebug was feeling better.

Me and Lovebug on the wagon ride.

Picking Apples

She was very proud of her apple!

Then it was off to the pumpkin patch to get a couple pumpkins.  She didn't like the pumpkin picking so much. "Mommy the pumpkins are too dirty"  is what I heard and a little whining because I wanted to take her picture.

picking her pumpkin

The "dirty" pumpkin she didn't want to touch.

After apple and pumpkin picking we headed back for some yummy cider and donuts.

Yummy!!

The rest of the time the kids got to enjoy themselves with the different activities they had around the orchard.  This place seriously has a TON for the kids to do.  Lovebug got to see chickens, goats, bunnies and a "cow" they called Reba.  She enjoyed the goats because they kept "talking" to her.  She thought the bunnies were cute too.  A nice temper tantrum ensued when I decided she needed to move onto other things besides the bunnies. (I"m pretty sure she would have stayed there the rest of the time.  It wasn't a pretty site.

Lovebug laughing at the goats.

Feeding the "cow"

The bunnies she didn't want to leave. 

Lovebug also enjoyed playing in a GIGANTIC sand box.

This is only half of the gigantic sandbox!

They really had so much there to do that we didn't have time to get to all of it.
Before we took off we got all the kids together for a group picture and they were actually cooperative!

Lovebug's Preschool Class

Overall it was a beautiful day for a trip to the orchard and Lovebug and I had a good time together. :)