To say that my life is crazy right now, would be an understatement.
There are just so many things going on, my heart and mind are having a hard time keeping up. I'm constantly exhausted (as so many D-Moms are) both mentally and physically.
Everything I do seems gets some opposition. Nothing comes easily anymore. My stress level is through the roof. I apparently tick every one off and I'm tired. I'm tired of being nice and sitting back and doing nothing. Problem is right now, all my energy goes into Lovebug's diabetes care, my hubby and kids. I don't have energy left to "deal" with anything else.
I want to be there for my friends when they need me. I am starting to get selfish, and I don't like it. It is starting to be all about me and Lovebug. That isn't who I am, I am the person who no matter what helps people out on a dime. I would do anything for a friend. (well within reason, of course!) I am fiercely loyal. Yet I feel like sticking my head in the sand and telling everyone to mind their own business.
This is SO not me!!! and it is making me *&% MAD!!! I want to do the right thing, but again, it's hard when everyone seems to be working against you. I want to be the better person, but how does one do that and still come out without looking like a pushover?
So, I guess you could say that I need a break. I need to eat my own words and lay it all down at His feet and let Him worry about it.
So, that is what I will do each and every day, even if I don't feel any better and my stress level doesn't go down.
I have to, because without my faith, I would have NOTHING. I would be an even bigger mess. (if that is even possible!)
I have to so that I can be the best wife, mother and friend possible because that IS ME. The woman who strives to be the best in everything she does. No. Matter. What.