Tuesday, March 29, 2011

You know that gut feeling?

It started back in January.  That gut feeling that something was off.  I really hate those gut feelings but I have learned to follow them when I get them.  Even when the outcome isn't always the way I want it. 

Back in January I enrolled Lovebug in Kindergarten at the same school that Peanut attends.  Right afterwards I had that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I  shrugged it off as "mommy worry".  You always worry about school issues when you have a T1 kids.  The two just seem to go hand in hand.  I waited and that feeling just would not go away.  Matter of fact, it got worse every time I though about Kindergarten.  

I kept trying to convince myself it was no big deal.  Just normal "mommy worry".  Problem is, I just could not shake that feeling. Not matter how hard I tried.  Peanuts school is WONDERFUL.  We LOVE it there.  One of the school secretaries and 2 children with Type 1 and there are 3 or 4 other kids that attend there that also have Type 1, so they are "used" to this.  There shouldn't be any big surprises for them or me. I should not have any worries!

Even with that knowledge, that gut feeling was STILL there.  I just wanted it to GO AWAY!!  I prayed about it and STILL there.  I prayed some more and STILL there.  Seriously??  When is this feeling going to go away!  I was really starting to worry.  

A couple of the parents where Lovebug attends preschool asked me if she was attending Kindergarten there in the fall. I said no, we can't afford it. (Lovebug attends a private school for preschool) We would LOVE to though!  It was later that day that it hit me.....why not send her there??  Well, there are LOTS of reasons NOT to send her there, the biggest one being that green stuff we call money.  Something we don't have a whole lot of these days. 

No matter what your view God is or where you place your faith, I  believe that God  "talks" to people through situations, people and circumstances. That is exactly what happened to me.  I swear that day I felt a little tap on my shoulder that day saying..."why not here?"  Um really, you know why not here....money.  Plain and simple.  (yes, I have conversations with God in my head ) Then that ever daunting thought..."don't you TRUST me?" Yes, I do.  But..... I can't plant a money tree in my yard!  (did I mention that I tell my kids ALL the time that there are no "buts" in my house!, I think I should take my own advice once in a while!) Needless to say we felt compelled to apply for financial aid and see what happened. 

Fast forward to last week.  The financial aid letter FINALLY came.  After a while I started to get a little impatient.  I am not typically a patient person to begin with, but I  was at peace about it so we waited what turned out to be.....three very long months.  I was AMAZED at the amount of financial aid we received, but it just was not enough to send BOTH girls to school there.  So what do we do now?  Do I worry myself sick sending Lovebug to Peanuts school or do we send them to different schools?  We weren't even sure if we could afford to send one!

After much prayer, and some advice from really good friends; we came to a decision. We are fully convinced it is not in the cards for our girls to go to the same school, yet.  So for the fall we will be sending Lovebug to the private school and Peanut will stay at her current school.  I thought it would be hard knowing they aren't at the same school, but I am at peace about it.  The private school is just where Lovebug is supposed to be.  Period.  And miracle of miracles, we still got a significant amount of financial aid for Lovebug and sending her is VERY affordable.  It's a God thing, pure and simple.  

Needless to say, the whole school thing had been  weighing heavily on me since the beginning of the year.  That weight is finally gone and I can relax....a little anyway. 


Lani said...

Wow. We just decided to keep Carissa at her private paid for school for kindergarten next year instead of sending her with Taylar also. I am glad you are at peace with your decision. I know we are with ours. God works in mysterious ways and will provide. Yah, our money tree is broken too!

Jules said...

Good thing you dont have to carry that feeling around any more...i know what thats like. Money cant buy peace of mind :)


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