I guess that it was bound to happen sometime. The sounds and alarms that you DON'T want your kids insulin pump to make...meaning it's time for a new pump. Of all days for the her pump to "die", it died on a Holiday. A day our endo office is closed and a day when there is no shipping. Fun stuff I tell you! (sarcasm intended) Add to that the fact that Lovebug HATES shots and you have a perfect storm.
So two days on shots it is. It's going better then I thought it would. Lovebug is doing better with it then I thought she would. Miracle of miracles there! Only one problem. I think that she likes being "free" from her pump.
As Lovebug was getting ready for bed last night she realized that she didn't have to wear a pump shirt or a pump pouch to bed. She exclaimed with A LOT of excitement that she didn't have to wear either! She was downright giggly about it! You could see it in her eyes, the relief and the excitement. The freedom of being "normal". Of not being tied to a pump. It broke. my. heart.
Lovebug never complains about having a pump, never complains about the pump pouches or the pump shirts that she has to wear all the time. She always seems happy, content and easy going about it. But when I saw her get so excited about the freedom of it, I realized how much it does "bother" her. Talk about tearing this mama's heart in two.
I don't want her to have to wear a pump, but I know it's better for her. But even I have to admit that seeing her free from "the cord" was nice. Really nice. Almost made me wonder if we should go back to shots for a while, but I know she prefers the pump. Despite being attached to it all the time. It's times like this I wonder if we made the right choice of pumps for her. I wish that we could get an Omnipod and try it out...but it doesn't work that way. I can't get a "new" pump quite yet and don't have the money to pay for an upgrade only to find out she doesn't like it or it doesn't work for us. And it's not that we don't like the pump we have, we love it. So why change a good thing. Not to mention we have had enough change around here this past year!
It's so hard to see her have to deal with all this. I long for a day when she no longer has to be attached to an insulin pump or have to get numerous shots a day. Why oh why can't that day be sooner then later?
So two days on shots it is. It's going better then I thought it would. Lovebug is doing better with it then I thought she would. Miracle of miracles there! Only one problem. I think that she likes being "free" from her pump.
As Lovebug was getting ready for bed last night she realized that she didn't have to wear a pump shirt or a pump pouch to bed. She exclaimed with A LOT of excitement that she didn't have to wear either! She was downright giggly about it! You could see it in her eyes, the relief and the excitement. The freedom of being "normal". Of not being tied to a pump. It broke. my. heart.
Lovebug never complains about having a pump, never complains about the pump pouches or the pump shirts that she has to wear all the time. She always seems happy, content and easy going about it. But when I saw her get so excited about the freedom of it, I realized how much it does "bother" her. Talk about tearing this mama's heart in two.
I don't want her to have to wear a pump, but I know it's better for her. But even I have to admit that seeing her free from "the cord" was nice. Really nice. Almost made me wonder if we should go back to shots for a while, but I know she prefers the pump. Despite being attached to it all the time. It's times like this I wonder if we made the right choice of pumps for her. I wish that we could get an Omnipod and try it out...but it doesn't work that way. I can't get a "new" pump quite yet and don't have the money to pay for an upgrade only to find out she doesn't like it or it doesn't work for us. And it's not that we don't like the pump we have, we love it. So why change a good thing. Not to mention we have had enough change around here this past year!
It's so hard to see her have to deal with all this. I long for a day when she no longer has to be attached to an insulin pump or have to get numerous shots a day. Why oh why can't that day be sooner then later?
6 comments:
Hugs, Heather. Since I just ranted in my post...I DO have to say, that despite the issues, Adam certainly wouldn't want to go back to the tubing. He recently discovered he can sleep nekkid. :) Well, with his undies. But the thrill for him is no pump pouch and he can sleep freely!
I will say that I'm not sure how your insurance works, but it was not time for a new pump since we'd only been with the Ping for 1 year. But we did Insulet's Cut the cord program and we got the PDM for $150. The pods were covered 100% under DME - so we were only out that $150 if the OmniPod didn't work out for us. I love knowing that we have our Ping still, and can go back to it at any time (and to have as a backup pump!) Our insurance said that if we ever want to switch back, we just order new Animas supplies. Might be something to check out, if you're interested!
Oh Heather... I get it.
When we switched to the pod, we didn't pay one cent. With their cut the cord program, it was like Stephanie said. But we had already met our out of pocket - so we paid nothing. Something to think about...
But I get it. Sweets never complains. But she was the same way. Once she got the pod on... The look on her face realizing that she didn't HAVE to wear anything extra... It brought tears to my eyes. It was such a bittersweet moment. I remember it clearly being in elevator in the hospital after starting the pod. It was precious!
((hugs))
Bean always does a little happy dance when she's 'poddless' for bath time or if we have to wait to attach the new pod after the one she's wearing has alarmed for whatever reason.
I think it's just the nature of not having anything 'on' them that excites them. The 'normal' they feel, even if it's short lived, makes them happy...and, indeed, breaks our mommy hearts!
I SO understand!!! Charlotte is always excited when we take her site out before her bath on site change nights...that little bit of "normal" time makes her truly giddy which breaks my heart. We've contemplated the Pod a few times and I heard about their Cut the Cord program which intrigues me...but we're not ready to change from the Ping right now.
Oh WOW Heather...that must have been hard to hear and see...her "free". Joe had not had a pump-break in 5 years. I am not sure how he would even feel about it. Love to you and yours AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
I, too, have issues with the visible reminder that they are on life support; yet, DD would never give back the pump because it would mean MDI. They have few choices. If going tubeless would make it easier, I think the pump companies make deals so you can switch from one pump to another. Our DD will not wear a pouch, shirt or anything extra. She puts a clip on her pump and clips it to the front side of her underpants. There is virtually no way to ascertain if she is wearing a pump; it lies flat next to her abdomen. She wears tight skinny jeans. Only thing is... you will have to fish the pump out to bolus. She does not mind doing this. But if you have the Ping, you would never have to remove pump to bolus. So there are optioms besides pump pouches and shirts. I long for an effective insulin, such as SmartInsulin, so the pump can be put away for good. A cure seems far off and I would like other therapies until we get there.
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