Monday, May 3, 2010

Just A Little Sleep Deprived

Ever have one of those days when your mind keeps going but your body wants to stop?  Well, today, that's me. Very little sleep the past couple nights will do that to me.  Oh, the life of a sleep deprived mom!

 My stinking Giant sure has been rearing it's ugly head around here lately. I would like to pull a David and just get it in the eyes with a sling shot.  Too bad I can't!  Love Bug's blood sugar levels have been running consistently higher then normal.  I would guess around the last week or so.(I need to download her pump info) I wasn't too worried about it at first, but now that it has been a while, I am wondering if we are going to have to change her basal rate again. Not to mention the last few days she has had that "glassy" look in her eyes that she only gets when her blood sugar is really high.

"Normally" she has always been a little higher before bed, which I actually like.  It gives me a little "security blanket" knowing that it is pretty unlikely that she will go low during the night.  The last couple nights though, she has been really high, so I have been giving her a correction dose then checking her again before I go to bed.  When I go to bed though, she as still high. Her blood sugar has even gone up, not down.  Frustrating, to say the least.  So, I have been giving her another correction dose and then get up at 2 am and check her again.  So far she has been right in range at her 2 am check.  I sure wish I knew what is going on between the hours of 7:30 p.m. and 2 a.m.!

Now to start the checklist of things that might need to change. Possibly change basal rate, temp basal, or I:C ratio at dinner, who knows.  Well, I'll know within the next week or so but until then I am going to have to keep getting up a couple times a night so I know whether or not we have a pattern going here. 

Of course, all this gets me to start questioning if I am doing things right. Maybe I should start actually measuring all her food out.  Right now, I just eye it.  I know about what a cup, half cup, quarter cup and so on look like.  What gets me is when I have to figure out serving sizes in ounces.  I don't have a food scale, maybe I should buy one.  I'm not sure I want to be that regimented with things though.  I don't mind if there is a little fluctuation to her blood sugars, the Doctor said it's normal at this age anyway.  I figure there will be plenty of time as she gets older that we will have to be more regimented about it. I want to let her enjoy her childhood as much as she can. (within reason of course)  Still, that little voice in me says, most everyone else does it and you want the best for your daughter, right?  Ugh, I hate that voice.  Of course I want whats best for her!!!  I'm her mother!

I don't let her have junk food only once and a while.  I tend not to even keep too many sweets in the house anymore, unless it's something that's used to raise a low blood sugar.  I try to keep everything home-made and as healthy as I can.  I would LOVE to buy everything organic but my budget just doesn't allow for that.
I feel like I do the best I can, but then why do I still question it when her blood sugar goes to high or low?  Or when her A1C numbers come back, not exactly where I want them, but still in good range?

I know it's the perfectionist in me.  I want to "fix" it and make it all better, quickly.  Unfortunately, you just can't do that with Diabetes. I manage it for her, as best as I can.  I am always looking for improvement, new ideas or even new foods to try. Anything to help me control her Diabetes.

Well, that's me "sounding off".  Not frustrated but wondering and questioning.  All the time it seems like. Maybe someday I'll get my body to catch up to my mind.  In the meantime, I guess I will just be one sleep deprived mom!


Lani said...

Glad you "sounded off". That's the best part of bloggin in my opinion.
I certainly hope Audrey's BG starts behaving soon. I can relate to the frustration and the whys? and what ifs? Sometimes you just have to say it's diabetes. Period. I don't doubt that you ARE doing your best. Keep us posted.

Amanda said...

I soooo hear you on the crazy BG. I am always trying to figure it out and my husband has to calm me down about it!
I liked your 99 random things list... I also had purple roses in my wedding bouquet and am 32 with a bad sweet tooth!

connie said...

I can't tell you how many times I have agonized over a crazy, random high blood sugar! It is hard not to since I know that all of the choices I make now may affect my girls health on some level in the future. That tends to put the pressure on us D caregivers to always try to get it right.

The hard part is that D doesn't always play by the rules :( We can do everything "right" and by the book and it will still throw crazy numbers at us once in awhile. I am sure that you are doing the best job that you can, I hope that you start to see better numbers really soon.



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