You see, this is the nature of Diabetes. One day is never the same as the next. What works one day (week, month or hour for that matter!) may not work another day. Being a pancreas is a hard job. Especially when I am not actually a pancreas. I was created to be a wife and mother. Then the Lord, with his wonderful sense of humor, decided to put pancreas on the list too. Um, not fair and not my choice. Then again, I don't get a choice. I just get the wonderful job of trying to act and think like a pancreas 24/7. I wish someone would hand me the specifications for this job because I'm pretty sure I'm not qualified. I know that God won't give us more then we can handle, but I have to admit, there are days that I doubt that.
With that said, all the lows and high blood sugars around here are starting to give me a stomach ache. They are INSANE!! Highs and lows that I have no idea where they are coming from. A couple weeks ago I accounted them to Lovebug being on antibiotics. The antibiotics are long out of her system by now. Now my mother's intuition is telling me I might be dealing with more then just crazy blood sugar numbers.... I just went down a very large hill on a roller coaster and feel like I lost my lunch. I probably shouldn't have eaten right before that hill, but then I didn't see it coming. I rarely ever do.
So here we go on this roller coaster again. All the mental "planning" I did preparing for this just didn't work. I am still flustered and exasperated. Adding school into the mix is making it worse to. How can I tweak doses when she has to go to school??? Yikes. Just when I think I am really starting to get things down, WHAM here comes more "math" for me to figure out.
Oh well, I'll figure things out. Eventually. Then I'll have to figure them out all over again. It's just they way life with Diabetes goes. I just wish it got easier....
6 comments:
Heather, I cannot count the number of times I have read your posts, thinking you must be reading my mind. I think all of us D-Moms feel these frustrations and I thank you for putting my feelings into words. At least we all have each other to hang onto during this roller coaster ride, all the while praying for the day the ride will finally STOP. Thank you for writing... xo
Wow, are you sure you aren't inside of my head? These are the very same thoughts I had today...crazy numbers, viral infection, nothing making sense..low BG with ketones - doesn't make sense... and now SCHOOL tomorrow - keep her home or send her ? UGH... my head hurts. Thank you for "getting it" - I would be so lost without my fellow D moms on this journey...
I feel the same way Heather. I just wish I could get it figured out! The only thing that makes me feel the least bit better is knowing I'm not the only one who is struggling with this. I was just thinking about this on the way home from meeting with our D group. I keep thinking it's just me that can't seem to get his numbers under control, but really it's all of them too. Maybe there just is no "under control" with this stupid disease. We just do our best and that's all we can do. It makes my brain soooo tired though. And I wish it could just be me on the roller coaster with my little guy safely on the ground.
Gosh gals...it seems we are all in the same boat. It is always a chasing the numbers around the clock game. It does seem as the kids age the tweaking becomes a little less often. We will all hold on together...we are in for a wild ride!
Up, down and all around we go! I, too, wish it would get easier!!!
Hang in there! Know that we're all here for support, if you need us!
I call it The Storm. It starts subtly...you know change is in the air, but you're not sure when it'll strike full force...or if it'll just die down....
It's constant. The Storm feels like it's a lurking threat ....constantly....
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