Diabetes Blog Week Day 4
Yes, I left the words "I Hate" out of the title. I know what the subject is but there has been a lot of "talk" about negativity lately. Especially when it comes to diabetes. I have to admit, lately I have not seen the sunny side of things a whole lot. Just having ANOTHER child diagnosed and having to go through this all over again makes it a little hard to stay positive all the time.
To be honest, I think that you have to get the negative out. If I left all my negative thoughts and feelings bottled up inside and always put on a happy face for every one....I would be a hypocrite. I can't put on a happy face all the time when it just isn't true.
Truth is this Type 1 diabetes is no fun AT ALL. I don't see any positive in the disease itself. The havoc it creates in my daughters bodies. The tole it takes on marriages. The emotional tole it takes on the whole family. The cost of keeping my daughters ALIVE. The hoops we have to go through to get new technology approved by the FDA. The tole it has taken on friendships. The rift it causes between people because of research. Truthfully, I don't look at any of those things positively.
I have had some positive things happen in my life because of diabetes though. I have seen in the midst of suffering my true friends reach out and really be there for me, even if they don't understand what I am going through. I have made new friends who are there for me no mater what and love me unconditionally, despite the fact that right now I find it very hard to stay positive about anything. I have seen my church family wrap their arms around us, support us and lift us up. I have seen Lovebug reach out and help Princess understand what she is going through. (in the only way a 5 year old can!) My love for my husband has only grown and our marriage has become stronger because of this experience.
Yes, there are many negative things about diabetes but there are some positive things too. Both have shaped my life the past couple years since Lovebug was diagnosed (and now with Princess diagnosis) and both will continue to shape my life. It doesn't matter if you are a positive person with the glass half full all the time or a person who's glass is always half empty. The positive and negative affect your life rather you want to admit it or not. I would be fooling myself and be doing a dis-service to others if I didn't talk about both aspects of diabetes. So call me a "negative nelly" or a "positive patty" I am always going to look at both sides of the picture. It's what keeps me real and transparent and I will never make apologies for that.