Saturday, November 5, 2011

Yes, you could.

"I could NEVER do that!"

"I really don't know how you do it."

Those are phrases I commonly hear from people after learning that I have children with Type 1 Diabetes.

I said the same thing once.  Before I had children with Type 1.  Before Lovebug was diagnosed.  Before Princess was diagnosed.

Truth is you could, if you had to.  When your child's life is at stake, you will do anything for them.  It is amazing how "strong" you become when you see your child face something like this. You become a "super hero" of sorts for them.  You help the fight the battle against the "bad guys".

With this disease it isn't a fight that you can "win" and then move on to the next "battle". Cancer, however horrible, is a battle that is won or lost. Usually in a matter of  months or a couple years. Yes, diabetes ultimately is either won or loss, but really it is a battle we wage every day. A moment by moment fight that can change in the blink of an eye.  Believe me, I know.  I have lived it.

For 5 days I saw Lovebug get sick and more sick.  She looked horrible.  I took her to the doctor and in an instant my world was turned upside down when the doctor said....you need to go to the hospital now.  Lovebug has Type1 diabetes and needs to be admitted to the hospital right away.  My knees buckled.  I could barely walk myself out of the office.  I knew it was bad, I just didn't realize how bad until we got to the hospital.

When  our CDE sat us down and started telling me what we were going to have to do for Lovebug each and every day. I remember my head spinning.  It still seems overwhelming when I think back.  I really had no idea what I was really in for, what Lovebug was in for, what our whole family was in for.

Fast forward 2 years later. Over the past year I had met other moms who have children with Type 1 Diabetes. I hear their stories. Some of them have more then one child with Type 1.  I thought the same thing. I could NEVER do that. I couldn't handle it.

Then one Sunday, after a night of tummy aches and just not feeling right, my hubby and I put two and two together.  We didn't believe it at first but just a couple minutes later we knew. The meter counted down 5,4,3,2,1....509.  That quickly our lives were turned upside down, yet again.  We had another child with Type 1 diabetes.  We were devastated. (still are)  But you know what? What we thought was impossible, taking care of  two children with Type 1 diabetes, isn't so impossible.

Is it easy? To be frank, HELL NO.  It is the hardest thing I have EVER had to do. Yet I do it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  24/7, 365 days a year with absolutely NO BREAK.  I live and breath this disease.  It is all consuming.  It isn't our life but it is a HUGE part of it.

What I used to think was impossible, really is possible. It is funny how in a moment of weakness you can become so strong.

Yes, you say that you couldn't do this.  But you are wrong. If you had to, you could! I just pray that you never have to.



3 comments:

Donna ((Sweet Momma)) said...

Oh, how right you are. I said those very words to someone the other day.

Its AMAZING what we are capable of. What our sweet kids are capable of.

Leighann said...

You are right...

You can and you do.

Misty said...

So true that we have some freak strength come over us when we have no choice but to face these challenges. You are amazingly strong Heather and your girls are lucky to have you.

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