Tuesday, May 6, 2014

A Year Ago Today

It was one year ago today...

I woke up that morning not feeling the greatest.  I felt like I had been hit by a boulder.  I had been feeling that way for a couple weeks and it was just getting worse.  I thought it was just because of my allergies, they tend to do that to me.  Well, that morning, I almost puked from the smell of my hubby making coffee. My initial thought was that I was getting the flu.  Great.  Exactly what ever D-mom wants to hear.

Yeah, well that wasn't it.  Thank goodness.  It was much worse.  It wasn't even on my radar.  Nothing would have prepared me for the thought that I might be....pregnant.  The moment I thought of it I tried to think how I was going to hide it from my hubby.  I didn't want him to find out right way, if I was.  A million thoughts went through my head.  None of which was that I could actually, really, be pregnant.  All I knew was that  had to get my hands on a test to prove to myself that it was impossible.

Well, I got my hands on that test, without my hubby finding out.  And....shock of my LIFE.  I really was pregnant.  How in the world?!  I kept shaking me head that I must be dreaming.  I wasn't.  I didn't know rather to laugh or cry.  I did both.

You see, we had wanted more kids.  We really did!  Then diabetes came into our lives and changed things. When Audrey was diagnosed were were trying. That stopped because I knew there was no way I could handle diabetes and a newborn.  We decided to wait a couple years and see how we felt.

Two year later and in comes our second diagnosis.  Again, we were talking about having another baby.  After a lot of thought we decided that Princess's diagnosis was a sign.  The door was closing, our family was complete.  I admit it took me a little bit to get used to the fact that we were done.  But I accepted things the way there were and I was at peace about it.  I mean really at peace.  I was loving life and taking the ups and downs of diabetes as they came.  Life was good.

Then it changed.  The peace that I had about not having anymore was gone and fear set in.  We were going to have another baby.  We were going to have another baby....I was PREGNANT.  How in the world am I going to do this?   I suppose I better start by telling my hubby.

To be continued...

1 comment:

Holly said...

I know that feeling!! Different story, but my last pregnancy was a total surprise (after many miscarriages and then not getting pregnant)..and ahhh!! My baby is sweet and adorable, but it's hard with four.
Good for your husband to encourage you! : )


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