Sunday, September 5, 2010

Envy

We are off to the in-laws today and every time we go I still feel like I have to pack everything but the kitchen sink, especially since diabetes started coming along.  As I was packing all of our extra "stuff" (and in stuff I mean diabetes supplies) I started thinking about "normal" families, those without diabetes in their lives.

Honestly, I envy them!  What I wouldn't give to not have to take all those extra insulin supplies along with us everywhere we go.  Or check Lovebug's blood sugar or look at Dexie each and every time we walk out the door.  It would be so nice to to be able to walk out the door and not worry about those things.

I would love to be able to actually drop Lovebug off for a play date rather then having to stay with her,  because not everyone is comfortable with diabetes.  Even when I can drop her off  I  rarely get away without getting a phone call or text about a high or low blood sugar and what to do about it.

I really envy friends who can just plan a get-a-way with their spouse,  without the kids.  I barely remember what that is like, and I'm sure it will be a few more years until my hubby and I can get away again. It probably  won't be until  Lovebug is a little more able to take care of some of her diabetes care herself.

Even if I could get away, I wouldn't really get a break from diabetes.  I may be physically away but I'm never emotionally away from diabetes.  That is one of the hardest things about this disease is that it never takes a break, no matter where you are.

Yeah, I have my days, don't we all, when we envy what someone else has. While I know that envy isn't a good thing to have, It's hard not to have it when I look at "normal" families and wish that I had had that again.   Those carefree days are gone.  I do try to make life as normal as possible for Lovebug and the rest of us but it's hard.  It is very draining both physically and emotionally.  But, we do the best with we can with the circumstances that God has given us and that's all we can do.

6 comments:

Reyna said...

I hope you have a fun day with your family Heather! The green-eyed monster gets the best of all of us at times doesn't he?

Joe finally started going on a couple of playdates last year when he was 6. He can do his own BG check and bolus using his pump independently. I do ask that an adult watch to make sure he is programming the pump correctly...and the adult at the house where he is playing will usually call with all the checks and to carb count.

You are rockin' the NaBloPoMo!

Lora said...

Oh Heather,
If we didn't worry about D, we would just find something else to worry about. I know that doesn't make it better.

Hang in there... this is just a suckity week (I have been saying suckity a lot this lately).

Hope you have a good time at the inlaws... maybe we will "meet up" at chat tonight ;)

Hallie said...

I feel it, too. It's only natural. Just know that you are not alone on this crazy journey. ((hugs))

Donna ((Sweet Momma)) said...

I completely understand. I know for me, I have envy in several different areas of my life... so my "non-D envy" is just one of the ones I deal with! =) But I think that as long as you recognize it... and look the green-eyed monster right in the face and say "Whatever - I'm just gonna have a good day in spite of you!" then envy can actually be healthy. It keeps us real. (((HUGS))) Enjoy your time with your family!!! =)

Wendy said...

Ummm....were just sitting inside my brain a minute ago?

I was seriously JUST sitting here thinking about a babysitting situation we need....and feeling a twinge of envy that my neighbors just found a random girl to have a random date. --sigh--

Thanks for the reminder that I'm not alone out here. Green eyes and all :)

Amanda said...

I was daydreaming about a getaway with my husband sans kids today too - and then sighed because who knows when that will be a possibility! I feel envious sometimes too.

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