In all honesty, I'm terrified.
For the past 17 months my husband and I have been doing the majority of the diabetes care for Lovebug. I'm not so sure I am ready to give that up. I get nervous letting her stay with people who know just as much as the preschool teachers are going to know the first day of preschool, but Lovebug won't be the only child with their attention. It terrifies me that they will miss something. But, I have to let her go. I have to let Lovebug grow up as normally is possible and trust that God will take care of the rest.
It's just that with diabetes aboard I'm a little hesitant (okay a lot) to let her grow up. I don't want her to have to face the realities of this disease that I already have to face but just don't feel it in my body the way she does. I never thought I would be one of those parents who doesn't really want my kid to grow up, but with Lovebug I am. I wish that I didn't though.
It's just that I know what kind of world that she is growing up in and the challenges she faces will be many. It won't be an easy road for her. There will be people who judge her and treat her unfairly just because of her diabetes. I wish I could take it all from her and give her back a "normal" childhood. One that doesn't know what a low or high blood sugar feels like. One where she didn't know what a finger poke felt like or know what insulin or glucose tablets are.
I put the finishing touches on my 504 plan yesterday, along with the lanyard tags, cheat sheets, letter to parents and substitute sheet. I will have a link up soon on the side of the page for you to click on with all the sheets, to help those of you who need them. I meet with her teachers next week to finalize everything and train them before preschool starts the week after.
Hopefully my nerves won't get the best of me but I'm pretty sure their will be plenty of tears from me the first day. Lord, help during the next week because it is going to be rough.
9 comments:
WOW, you have been busy Heather. School is tough, especially when your child is sooo young and has "d". The tears came easily for the first few years of sending Joe to school...especially K-garten. I went to preschool with him to do insulin administration etc...so that wasn't quite as hard emotionally for me for some reason.
Blog all about it...luckily you are doing the NaBloPoMo this month...you will have stuff to write about for days! Wahooo
I remember, I remember, I remember!!!!!
You have done you can to prepare...HE will handle the rest :)
GREAT WORK, my friend!
Oh, how I know your angst!
I have learned a few things over the past month though. Actually I have learned a TON of new things. But ONE thing has been the most valuable lesson:
Teachers dig routine! They like a nice tight schedule! So give them one.
Sugar Boy is checked at the same time every day. (for us, the first check works out to be after he has been at school for an hour and a half - but make Lovebugs first check sooner if you feel you need to). And then THEIR schedule is integrated with the rest of his checks and boluses throughout the day. Its the SAME every day! And it works beautifully. If you have them checking her often enough... and then leave them detailed instructions on what to do for her based on her number, there is not much opportunity for D to get out of hand. Now dont get me wrong - I know that D is D and D can be a stinker! But it will make it so much easier for YOU too if you know exactly what time she is having whatever done while she is out of your care.
Does this make sense?
I would be happy to talk to you more about it, if you want. You can always FB me, or email me at sweetmomma@sugarkidsblog.com
((((HUGS)))) dear friend! She will do great!!! And you will be so blessed watching her blossom in her new-found freedom.
BTW - Your Blog looks AMAZING!!!! You need a button!!! I want one that I can put on my blog for you! =)
I know exactly how you feel. Sending you hugs and calming, peaceful vibes to pull you through! Lovebug will be okay and so will you! XO
Best of luck Heather! I am still trying to decide if I want to homeschool or send my T1 son to preschool. I know I would be feeling the same things though if I WERE sending him to school this year!! I hope the first week goes very smoothly!!
Justin was in 2nd grade when he was dx'd and that was hard enough. I bet anything she will do GREAT! She will grow and amaze you everyday. Thats what they do because we have taught them well:)
It sounds like you are as prepared as you can be --- you are both going to do great. I have to admit - the thought of sending D to preschool makes me a little nauseous!!
Oh good luck!
It will all be fine. You will be fine. There may be a bump here and there, but it will go okay and it will get easier, particularly as she grows.
Taking my kids to school or to the bus has never been an issue for me. It's their natural progression - see ya' later, have a nice day!
But that first day I dropped Caleb off at preschool after being diagnosed - I will never forget it. It was the only day that was hard, but diabetes was only 5 days old to us then. That day worked out as have the three and a half school years since. There were indeed bumps, but we made it through and it's gotten a little easier each year.
Hugs Heather.
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