A couple days ago Lora over at My Diabetic Child talked about some of her quiet fears and some things she is secretly thankful for.
She asked what our fears where and what we are secretly thankful for. Here are my (secret) fears.
...every time she sleeps late or takes a nap that is longer then normal, I worry the worse has happened. It's all I can do to not go in and wake her up. Sometimes I do sneak into her room to watch her chest and make sure she is still breathing.
...that I will do something in my sleep deprived state to hurt her and I will be declared an unfit mother.
...that Lovebug will rebel when she gets older.
...that she won't live a long life.
...that we won't get to see her graduate, get married or have a family of her own.
...that my other two girls will resent Lovebug because they think she gets more attention then them. Although I try my best to make sure it is NOT that way. Sometimes the extra "attention" just can't be avoided.
...that with all my hard work keeping her blood sugars under control, It may not be enough to stop the complications. Or worse.
...that I am overprotective of Lovebug and smother her.
...that she would get lost and die because no one knows how to take care of her.
I really could go on and on. Ultimately, I know she is in God's hands and that is comfort enough.
(although I have to remind myself of this numerous times a day, hey I'm not perfect)