You never think it will really happen to you....and then it does. And the whole world stands still.
It all started Saturday night. Princess was up quite a few times to use the bathroom, which was very unusual for her but she had drank quite a bit that day so I didn't think much of it. Needless to say between Princess being up "peeing" and Lovebug having stubborn high blood sugars....I was exhausted and so was my hubby.
I had to drag my bum out of bed anyway. I wanted to go to church and needed to since I had Easter Drama rehearsal. Tim decided to stay home with the girls and get some extra sleep.
When I got home from church a few hours later, Princess came up to me asking for a drink. My hubby stepped in and said "no", since she had just had a drink. I sarcastically asked him if she had been drinking a lot that morning. No sooner had the words come out of my mouth and I was thinking back to the night before and Princess going to the bathroom, a lot. My hubby and I looked at each other. We knew what each other was thinking without even saying anything.
My hubby went over to our diabetes supply cabinet and dug out our extra meter while I made the girls some sandwiches for lunch. We decided to humor ourselves and put our minds at ease at the same time. Got the meter out poked her.....509.
My stomach sank. Tears welled up in my eyes. Then, as if grasping at straws I told him the code must be wrong or the meter was off. I checked the code. It was right. We decided to check on Lovebug's meter since we knew that meter was right....492. In that second, everything changed. I knew what we were looking at and my heart broke in two.
It was off the the ER we went. It was all so surreal sitting in the waiting room. I remember looking at all the other kids that looked sick, on the outside. My baby was sick on the inside. I couldn't believe it, we were here, again. How did this happen? Why?
Princess laid in her bed and watched TV. She wore the same gown with little tigers on it that Lovebug had worn when she was diagnosed. Tears welled up in my eyes as I put it on her. Princess never got a IV like Lovebug did but they had to do a blood draw. Thankfully it wasn't too dramatic.
Then we just sat, and waited. We knew what the doctor was going to say. It didn't make it any easier knowing. I about lost it when he did finally come back and confirm it. We would get to go home as soon as she got a shot of Lantus (long acting insulin) to tide us over until the morning when we could get in to see the endocrinologist. So home we went. Shocked. Sad. Mad. Dumbfounded. I'm pretty sure I had every emotion known to man that day. Words just can't describe what I was feeling. (what I am still feeling)