Tuesday, September 13, 2011

September 10

Many years ago September 10th didn't mean much to me.  Now it means a lot, in more way the one.

Ten years ago, on September 10th,  I went to a county fair to hear  Michael W. Smith in concert. (a Christian artist for those of you whom haven't heard of him)  It was awesome praise and worship music.  Perfect timing considering what would come to pass less then 12 hours later.  That night and the next day are days that I will never forget. They will be etched in my mind forever.

Fast forward 8 years and September 10th meant something else.  Something bittersweet.  It is Lovebug's pump start day.  It was in 2009 and just 5 short months after her diagnosis.  The very next week we walked in our 1st JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes.  Needless to say, September 2009 was a really hard month for me.

Fast forward again another couple years to this year and we have yet another "milestone".  It was 5 months ago on the 10th the Princess was diagnosed.  And here we are again, exactly one week away from walking in our 3rd JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes. But this year we aren't just walking for Lovebug.  We are walking for Princess too.

Add to the fact that Lovebug started Kindergarten last week and all the emotions that go along with sending a child with diabetes to school and I guess you could say I am a bit of an emotional roller coaster.  My moods swing all day long and its hard not just on me but on the whole family.  I try to stuff it in and not show it in front of the kids (and sometimes my hubby) but it doesn't always work because when Diabetes isn't cooperating and I can get easily frustrated.

So I take these couple weeks day to day and try to come to grips with Princess diagnosis as well as everything else life throws at me.  It's hard but we are surviving.  I love the quote my good friend Hallie had on her blog a few days back.

"It never gets easier. You just get better."

That could not be more true when it comes to diabetes....I know it won't every get easier but I am ready to get better!


Misty said...

So much to carry in your sweet heart! Here's hoping we all get better together! Love you!

connie said...

Such a great quote and so true, it doesn't get easier, we just get better.

I remember when my oldest daughter was first diagnosed with t1d, I felt like my world was ending. I felt so small, so scared and so unable to give her the care that this disease demanded of me. Of course I was wrong, I got better, I learned, I grew strong, I grew confident but I never got over that sadness. Then my second daughter was diagnosed 11 months later and I thought this is it...I can't take any more pain, fear or sadness. It was devestating. Somehow through all of that, after a lot of time and soul searching, I came through it stonger then ever and more capable then I ever imagined. I still have my bad days, but time heals and we do get better.

I wish I could offer some sort of comfort to you but I know the pain that you are feeling and I know how difficult this must be for you. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.



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