The Results are In!

Lovebug's Celiac test came back Negative!! 

I am both happy and relieved that we don't have to deal with this right now.  I'm not sure how I would have handled another T1 diagnosis and a Celiac Diagnosis with a year.  Not to mention there is just so much going on right now, I really didn't need one more thing on my plate to "worry" about. 

I have to admit, I was fully expecting the test to come back positive.  I honestly asked the nurse twice if she was reading it right. I guess after 4 months of waiting and wondering I just expected that we would go through all the issues, the blood tests and the biopsy and it would come back positive. (even though that was really the last thing I wanted.) I really had prepared my heart and mind for the nurse to say that the biopsy came back positive. 

 In all honesty, I am happy that it was negative but also a little annoyed. I just went through 4 months of not knowing, worrying and putting Lovebug through blood tests and a biopsy,. just to have it come back negative.   It almost doesn't seem worth all the stress it caused me and Lovebug.   

Her antibodies weren't elevated very high, just a little.  She had very few symptoms.  I know the doctor recommended the biopsy, to be sure. Looking back, I'm not so sure I would do it. We could have just done follow up blood tests every 3 months instead. The doctor said it was an option, but I thought and he recommended that we go through with the biopsy to be sure. Lovebug will have to get re-tested in 6 months and we "may" have to go through all this over again. But next time I will look at things a lot differently. I have an number in my head that if her antibodies aren't over that number, we aren't going to do another biopsy. (unless of course she is having symptoms) I just can't go through all this stress over and over again just to have it come back negative.  I don't want to put Lovebug through this over and over again. 

At least now the stress of the past 4 months can start loosing it's grip on me and I can concentrate on other things! 

In case you were wondering...

Lovebug's biopsy went well and we are still waiting for the results.  It's hard. Really hard.  Part of me wants the results now and the other part says, not so fast...she may have some more time to eat what she wants before having to go gluten free if the biopsy comes back positive.  

So, we sit here and wait.  I haven't blogged as much lately because this is all that is on my mind and I just can't seem to think about much else.  Seems that on top of that there are many other things going on but they are on the back burner (so to speak) until we have our answer about the Celiac's disease.  I promise I will share with all of you as soon as I know.  ps.  I so have some exciting blog posts coming up! :)

One Blurry Year Coming to an End!

One word to sum up 2011.  Blurry.

This past year pretty much seems like a big blur.  It started out pretty good.  I started my Thirty-One business and it has thrived and grown more then I could have imagined this past year.

We celebrated Lovebug's 5th birthday and her 2nd Diaversary.

Then, the unexpected happened.  One of my worst nightmares came true when Princess was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes in April.  The SAME month that Lovebug was diagnosed.  Just 10 days apart.  I remember wondering if this was really happening or if I was dreaming.  It was a little like being hit Mac truck a thousand times over. It was horrible.  (that is the understatement of the year right there!)  It took my breath away.  It made me rethink EVERYTHING.  It was literally all I could do to stay sane.  I really thought that I was going to loose my mind.

My D-mama's were a huge help. Even texting me when we were at the hospital to check up on me.  We were showered with meals,cards, gifts for the girls, and lots of well wishes.  We received many hugs and lots of support from friends, family and our church.

The rest of the year is pretty much a blur.  There were some really happy times in July when I got to meet up with my fellow D-Moms Misty and Hallie.  I also got to meet another D-mom Erin, who also got me hooked on Thirty-One!

Of course, I should know by now that when ever things start going smoothly over here something is about to hit the fan.  And it the fan it did.

In October we took Lovebug for her yearly diabetes blood draw and her Celiac Disease panel came back positive.  NOT something I was expecting. It hit me totally out of the blue...kind like Princess's diagnosis.  We don't have the "official" diagnosis yet but her biopsy is next week so these months of waiting will finally be over.  I'm not sure how I will feel if it comes back positive.  I have tried to prepare myself if it does, I don't think it will make it much easier if it does.  Maybe having months to think about it made it worse?  I don't know.  All I know is what my gut is telling me, and I am hoping that my gut is wrong this one time.

Needless to say starting out 2012 with a biopsy and possible Celiac diagnosis isn't the way I would have imagined we would be ringing in the new year but maybe I will be pleasantly surprised.

Putting on my Happy Face

I was folding clothes tonight and the thought crossed my mind that I was folding some of these same clothes just 2 years ago, but for a the other d-kid.  Not in a million years did I ever think I would be saying that....

It has been 8 very long months.  Most of them pretty much a blur.  I put on a happy face most of the time but inside it just hurts.  Hard to tell someone when they walk to up to you and ask how you are doing that you are doing horrible and just want to go sit in the corner and cry.  So, instead of weighing every person who asks me how I'm doing with that heavy burden of my reality, I just tell them things are going good.  We are getting by.

Honestly that is just it. We are getting by. We aren't doing good, we aren't doing bad, we are just getting by. I am doing what I have to do and that is about it.  Sometimes I feel like I am just going through the motions of life but like I say, you do what you have to do, right? Even with Lovebug's blood sugar numbers  ALL over the place and Princess's always hovering in the 200's.  I struggle with burning myself out. Yet, I can't burnout.  Their life depends on it.

Add to that the stress of my hubby moving from 1st to 2nd shift, going to the doctor to find out I just moved into the overweight category and the fact we are looking at yet another diagnosis. Yep, burnout....I am trying to avoid you.  I don't know if you caught the part where I said "another diagnosis".  Yes, you did read that correctly.  Another diagnosis.  No, not of  Type 1 though.  (thank GOD it's not that)

We go a call from the endo's office back in October that Lovebug's yearly blood work came back testing positive for Celiac's Disease. (for those of you who don't know what Celiac's Disease is HERE is a little synopsis)  I suppose I wasn't totally surprised, but at the same time I was shocked.  When I had taken her in the week before to get her blood drawn at the lab I just had this feeling that something was wasn't right  I never would have thought my "intuition" would be right.  It has always been a big fear that one of the girls would end up with Celiac's Disease.  Not a fear I ever really thought I would be looking at.  Then again I never thought we would deal with a second diagnosis of Type 1 either.  I must be naive or something...

I didn't think it would be Celiac that came back positive.  All I knew was something was off.  Ironic thing is she has very few symptoms of Celiac.  Up until a couple weeks ago the only symptoms were bloating, constipation, crazy low blood sugars (followed by rebound high blood sugars) and leg cramps.  All those I would have normally contributed to other things, never would have linked them to Celiac.  The past couple weeks Lovebug has been complaining of  stomach aches a lot.  Especially right after eating.

So here we are, waiting.  I have never been so tired of waiting.  Trying to keep the thoughts of this possible diagnosis (and all that comes with it) out of my mind so I can enjoy the Holiday's.  Which I am enjoying, it's just always right there, like a little tap on my shoulder a thousand times a day forcing me to push it to the back of my mind over and over again.  Hopefully we will have some answers soon as Lovebug will have a biopsy in a couple weeks to confirm rather or not if  she actually has Celiac.  (the biopsy of the small intestine is the only way to confirm Celiac.) It's only another month or so, I have waited this long....right?