Survivor

Well, today I did it.  The day I had been dreading for a little over a year.

I left Love Bug in the care of someone other then my husband for the entire day. Deep Breath. *sigh*

This isn't something I considered lightly. Believe me when I say that I was Scared. To. Death.  What if something would happen, and I wasn't there? A number of different scenarios played out in my head.  Yes, crazy ones that probably no one else would ever think of, but I did.


I hate admitting that it was hard for me.  I hate it that I worry about her SO much.  I hate all the physical and emotional energy this disease takes out of me that I sometimes just don't want to be around my other girls.  I hate that feeling.  So today, I decided to "face my fears" and spend some much needed quality time with my oldest baby.

The morning was almost ruined though. I came VERY close to turning around and going home when I got a phone call from my baby sitter (just 30 minutes after I left) saying Love Bug's BG was 402.  Take a deep breath, It's just a spike from breakfast.  I instructed her how to give a correction bolus and told her to check her again in an hour and let me know only if her BG hadn't gone down or had gone up (for some crazy reason), but that never happens. So, I (tried) not to worry.

Dexie beeped so my sitter called again. She had taken Love Bug's BG and it was 591.  Um, could you repeat that???  (I was pretty sure I was hearing things, I really did not hear 591) She repeats it again.  Oh crap, I did hear 591.  WHAT in the WORLD???  I just had the sitter give her a CORRECTION dose just 50 minutes earlier!! Yes, I did say CORRECTION dose.

Didn't I just say that her BG NEVER goes up AFTER I give a correction dose?  Breathe Heather. (Breathe is what I was telling my self in my head). Praying, "Lord, why NOW?  Do you really want me to have a heart attack right here, right now?  This isn't supposed to happen, not when I'm not there!!!!

So I calmly told the sitter so re-check her again in a half hour and give me a call back.  I very impatiently waited, looking at the time every few minutes. All the while praying, "Please Lord, Let it go down. Please, Lord."  The phone rings and I jump. Love Bug's BG is 460.  Sigh, much better but still not good.  At least I know the correction dose is starting to work now. Another big sigh.

Needless to say, I was hoping for a uneventful day from the big D, but true to it's nature it reared it's ugly head and almost ruined my day.  Praise the Lord it didn't and  I  survived.

One of many "Aha" Moments

 I found myself sitting at the computer this weekend thinking....why in the world did I not start blogging a year ago?  I tried to start one a few years ago and just fell short.  I'm not highly creative so coming up with ideas for blog posts was hard.  Life seemed to get in the way for a while and then Diabetes came into our lives.  I was pretty much in survival mode the first 6 months after Love Bug was diagnosed and felt like I was in a bubble.  My own bubble that not too many other people really understood.  Little did I know that there was a huge diabetes community out there in cyber world! 

So, about a month ago I started working on my blog again. Updating it and getting it ready, mostly making it more Diabetes focused. Then I started looking to see how many other Type 1 moms were out there and decided to Google it.  I found blog after blog that was just so uplifting and encouraging.  It was like a breath of fresh air!  It is so amazing to hear other moms stories and know that they are going through many of the same struggles that I am going through with this disease.  Now I am wishing I would have started this a year ago when Love Bug was first diagnosed.

I know that this disease is a cruel one but I have decided that I am going to try to keep my blog posts positive and encouraging. (Not to say that there won't be the occasional venting since everyone needs that once and a while.) That's why I am going to try to do a few just fun "mom" blog posts too as well as ones about my faith, since those are really important things in my life.  Especially my faith.  I don't know how I would have survived this past year without it!

So,whether you are new to my blog or a long time friend please leave a comment or send me a message. (or find me on Facebook!  I am hoping to have a link on my blog soon.  I would love to get to know you and hopefully along the way I will encourage a few other moms out there as much as I have been encouraged over the past year.