My Giant

My Giant is with me all the time.

It is in my face day and night.
It is relentless in its attack.

Some days, it laughs at me.
Other days, it punches me in the gut and brings me to tears.

It sneaks up on me anytime, anywhere.
It can turn a good day bad in seconds.

Some days, it makes me feel weak
Other days, it just messes with my emotions.

It never gives me a break.
It makes me feel inadequate.

My Giant does have a good side.

It pushes me to be better
It makes me believe in the impossible

My Giant has shown me things about myself I didn't know were possible.

It has given me a purpose, something to fight for.
It has given me self-independence.

My Giant has helped me see ignorance and injustice with new eyes.

It has given me more compassion for others then I ever thought possible.
It has blessed me new friends and brought me closer to old ones.

My Giant has shown me that less then perfect is a blessing.

It has strengthened my faith.
It has given me new hope.

My Giant has proved to me time and time again that HIS grace IS sufficient for ME.

My Giant is Diabetes and I will not let it defeat me.

99 Random Tidbits About Me - The Updated Version

1. I love to cook
2. I don't have a dishwasher
3. "Beautiful" by Francesca Battistelli is my favorite song, at the moment
4. I get lost easily
5. I need a GPS in my van
6. I can't believe I have 3 beautiful girls
7. My middle one has Type 1 Diabetes
8. I am 32 years old
   
9. I have been married almost 12 years
10. I'm afraid of heights
11. I don't like to be alone
12. I LOVE Jesus!
13. I have a wonderful church family
14. My husband is my Best Friend
15. I am addicted to McDonald's fountain Coke
16. I love coffee
17. Spanish/Cuban/and Mediterranean are my favorite foods
    
18. Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate...need I say more
19. I love to go to wine tastings
20. I am a "beer snob", just like my hubby
21. I have a very bad sweet tooth
22. Pineapple is my favorite fruit, has to be fresh though
23. I love avocado's
24. I wish dates nights with my husband weren't so few and far between
25. I feel like crazy is my normal.
26. I am very loyal
27. I am a doer
28. Secretly, I love politics
29. I have a passion for sewing
30. I love to hang out with friends
31. I really am no good at math, yet I have to be since I live with it 24/7
32. My favorite color is PINK! But not for my house
33. I don't like bees
34. My favorite Season is Summer
35. I like to go to B&B's but don't get to much now that we have kids 
36. I dream of a vacation in the Cook Islands
37. We plan to take the girls to Walt Disney World in a few years
38. My favorite candy is Reese's Dark Peanut Butter Cups
    
39. I love gadgets like cell phones and i-pods
40. I wish I could afford for an interior decorator to come in and decorate for me
41. I love to help others without them knowing
42. I wish I had a mentor
43. Someday, I will fix my teeth
44. My home is very small and old
45. I am the oldest of 4 kids
46. I have lived in five different states, two of them twice
47. I am not very creative
48. I love to sing
49. I wish I would have studied voice more in college
50. I wear contacts
51. My eyes are green
52. I love being a stay at home mom
53. I love pedicures - even though I have only had one!
54. I wish I had my own "What to Wear" consultant
55. I have a secret desire to work in fashion
56. I love shoes, although I don't have very many
57. My favorite shoes are stiletto's
    
58. I love to wear jewelery
59. My favorite piece of jewelery is my wedding ring
60. I don't go anywhere without my cell phone
61. I wish I had time to work out
62. Esther is my favorite woman in the bible
63. I love to take pictures of my kids
64. I dream of owning a house on a lake
65. I love the beach
66. Traverse City, MI is one of my favorite places
67. Denver, Co is another favorite place
68. I love reading to my kids
69. I'm a kid at heart
70. I'm a girly girl
71. I love to garden and landscape
72. I love trying new things
73. My favorite Bible verse is Zephaniah 3:17
74. Outlet shopping in my favorite
75. The Children's Place and Carter's are my favorite kids clothing stores
76. When I was a kid I wanted to be a gymnast
77. I also wanted to be a ballerina
78. I cry easily
79. I'm a good listener
80. Everyone thinks I am the quiet type, those who really know me know that isn't the case!
81. I love to wear capri's
    
82. I like to be organized but not very good at organizing
83. A pet peeve of mine is when people commit to something and then back out
84. My favorite game is Scrabble
85. I  love watching my kids grow up
86. I don't like that fact that I get older as they grow up!
87. I am a city girl who loves all things country
88. I love going to amusement parks
89. I spoil my kids when I can, and LOVE it!
90. My favorite magazine is "Real Simple"
91. I also really like "Simple and Delicious"
    
92. I just stared reading the "Twilight" Series
93. My favorite flowers are purple roses, which I had in my wedding bouquet
94. My favorite smells are Vanilla and Lavender
    
95. I love candles
    
96. I love getting my hair washed at the salon
97. I wish I could get a massage once a week
98. I love old fashioned things 
    
99. I love Twizzlers and Black Licorice

One of many "Aha" Moments

 I found myself sitting at the computer this weekend thinking....why in the world did I not start blogging a year ago?  I tried to start one a few years ago and just fell short.  I'm not highly creative so coming up with ideas for blog posts was hard.  Life seemed to get in the way for a while and then Diabetes came into our lives.  I was pretty much in survival mode the first 6 months after Love Bug was diagnosed and felt like I was in a bubble.  My own bubble that not too many other people really understood.  Little did I know that there was a huge diabetes community out there in cyber world! 

So, about a month ago I started working on my blog again. Updating it and getting it ready, mostly making it more Diabetes focused. Then I started looking to see how many other Type 1 moms were out there and decided to Google it.  I found blog after blog that was just so uplifting and encouraging.  It was like a breath of fresh air!  It is so amazing to hear other moms stories and know that they are going through many of the same struggles that I am going through with this disease.  Now I am wishing I would have started this a year ago when Love Bug was first diagnosed.

I know that this disease is a cruel one but I have decided that I am going to try to keep my blog posts positive and encouraging. (Not to say that there won't be the occasional venting since everyone needs that once and a while.) That's why I am going to try to do a few just fun "mom" blog posts too as well as ones about my faith, since those are really important things in my life.  Especially my faith.  I don't know how I would have survived this past year without it!

So,whether you are new to my blog or a long time friend please leave a comment or send me a message. (or find me on Facebook!  I am hoping to have a link on my blog soon.  I would love to get to know you and hopefully along the way I will encourage a few other moms out there as much as I have been encouraged over the past year.

It's all VERY Frustrating!

I'm in the check out lane at the grocery store (actually without kids!) and the cashier and I start talking.  The conversation turns to my kids and eventually I remember saying something about Love Bug and her diabetes. ( I can't remember the entire conversation because I have focused on the negative part too much)  Then I hear (what I have now heard too many times) how did you know she had diabetes? Is she fat?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME???  You think my  four year old is  FAT?

My other favorite to hear when people find out my daughter has Type 1 diabetes is "So, she can't have any sugar?"  No, not a single drop. (sarcasm there)  I also like (sarcasm intended here too) "At least she will outgrow it". Grow out of it???  I can only dream.

Why do people always assume when you say Diabetes, they think of fat, unhealthy, over-weight, and too many sweets? Yes these can be causes of Type 2 but have nothing to do with Type 1. I know there are people out there, when they first hear I have a child with Diabetes that assume I'm a bad mother and feed my kids too many sweets.  I'm guessing it's from all the media misconceptions out there. They (the media) put Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes under the same Diabetes umbrella.  It is so frustrating that people just don't get the difference between the two diseases!

I personally believe that there should be two different names for the two different diseases. Why do we have to call it diabetes?  Just because of the few similarities there between  Type 1 and Type 2?  Or can we, at the very least, have a mandate that the media (and people in general) must distinguish between the two? Of course there would still be the few that never would distinguish so that would probably be pointless.

Now, I don't want everyone thinking that I am insensitive to people with Type 2.  I'm not. I have family members and know a lot of  people who have (suffer with) Type 2.   I just wish there was some way to distinguish between them better. 

For those of you who don't know, here are the differences between Type 1 and Type 2:
 "Type 1 Diabetes is sometimes called insulin-dependent diabetes or juvenile diabetes. With type 1 diabetes, a person's pancreas either produces very little insulin or none at all. So people with this type of diabetes must inject or pump insulin daily to make up for what the body can't do. Knowing just how much insulin the body needs at a particular time is very, very tricky. For this reason, the blood sugar of a person with type 1 diabetes can be either too high or too low a lot of the time.

Type 1 diabetes is a type of AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE. This means that the body's system for attacking and fighting off infections, called its immune system, is attacking a part of the body itself. In type 1 diabetes, the immune system attacks certain cells in the pancreas called beta cells. If you guessed that these beta cells are the ones that produce insulin, you're absolutely right!

About 5 to 10 percent of people who are diagnosed with diabetes have type 1 diabetes. Being extremely thirsty or hungry over a long period of time, having to urinate more often than usual, losing a lot of weight without trying to, having blurry vision, and being extremely tired over a long period of time may all be symptoms of type 1 diabetes.

Type 2 Diabetes is the most common form of diabetes. In this type of diabetes, the pancreas still produces insulin, but it does not produce enough or it has trouble using it. Type 2 diabetes usually develops in adults over 35 years old, and especially in those who are overweight.

Type 2 diabetes is generally connected to with older age, obesity (being overweight), a history of diabetes in the family, having had gestational diabetes (see below), and lack of physical exercise. It also seems to be tied to race or ethnicity.

About 90 to 95 percent of people diagnosed with diabetes have type 2. The symptoms can include extreme tiredness, being unusually hungry or thirsty, losing weight suddenly, urinating more often than normal, blurry vision, and sores or infections that take a long time to heal. These symptoms can come on gradually, or there may not be any symptoms at all. Usually, type 2 diabetes can be controlled by losing weight, improving nutrition and increasing exercising. But many people may need to take medication by mouth or inject or pump insulin (or sometimes both) to control the disease."
Source: www.jdrf.org

I also wish that influential people; such as Oprah; would take just as much time discussing Type 1 Diabetes and what people have to deal with on a daily basis as she does dedicating a entire show to Type 2 Diabetes. I love it when I see people actually talking about what life is like with Type 1 and the struggles that go with it.   One of my favorite interviews to date is one with Jets Owner Woody Johnson and Dr. Aaron Kowalski on living with and treating diabetes. It is an eye opening interview. The article on Diabetes Myths and Misconceptions is a good resource too. 

Maybe someday all this won't be so confusing anymore. Until then this is why education is so important, to get people in the know.  Then people like me will stop getting so frustrated!

The "Little" Victories

A little over a year ago, we started.  Yep, it has taken this long.  Certainly not because I wanted it to.  Lord knows I wouldn't have ever wanted it to take this long!  It should NEVER take this long.  I have heard it said over and over, it will happen when she's ready.  Well folks, over the past 12 months it has just been one thing after another!  Diabetes being the main culprit. 

Now, I have done this before and very successfully I might add.  I waited until I felt my oldest was really ready and it only took a day.  Amazing, so I thought!  She was SO easy.  I thought they would all be this easy. Boy, was I WRONG!  Dead wrong. 

I don't know about all the other moms out there but potty training has been H-A-R-D and frustrating. (I'm sorry, really dumb statement there, of course all you other moms have felt this way!)  Almost as frustrating as diabetes. Except I can walk away from the potty training, I can't walk away from the Diabetes.  Some days I have just wanted to completely pull my hair out. (Makes me think of the parrot on Aladdin - Diago saying "Look at me, I'm molting!")  I began to seriously wonder if there was a trick to potty training T1 kids.

She just didn't use the potty when she was low and could never seem make it in time when she was high. On top of it all we  have still been having a hard time keeping her blood sugar number under control.  I couldn't decided if she just didn't get it, she was being stubborn, a combination of both or if it was the diabetes making it harder for her.  

Alas, after much molting, crying, screaming; and many frustrating days, weeks and months; we have conquered the potty training. Love Bug has been accident free for 4 days straight now and has been in under pants for 2 and a half weeks.  She is only 4 years and 1 month old, but better late then never, right? 

WOO HOO!  We did it.  It might have taken one tremendously long year, but we did!  Correction, Love Bug  finally did it!  :)

What's in a name...

How important is a name to you? Is it just one of those things where you hear a name, you like it and maybe name your kids that?  Or are you one of those people, like me, who need to know the meaning and what's behind the name?  I have always loved to hear stories of who people are named after or how their parents decided on that particular name for them.  To me, names are very important.  They can describe a person's character (or not)  and possibly define who they are.

When my husband and I were deciding on names for our children, we decided to use original names for first names and middle names would be family names.  Our first born, Annaliese means gracious, full of grace, and God is my oath. I thought that was such a beautiful name and meaning.  There was another name I had liked until I read the meaning, it was bitterness toward God.  That was not really the meaning I wanted my daughter to be carrying around her whole life!

I figure, since I put so much thought into the names of my children that maybe I should put a little more thought into the name of my blog. Now, don't get me wrong, I did put a lot of thought into the name I have now. The thing is that since I started this blog a lot of things have changed and shaped me into the women I am today.  The first of these being my faith.  My faith would not have grown if it weren't for the trials in my life.  Each one of those trials that my husband and I have been through, since we got married, have shaped and molded us into the people we are today.  Now, we are FAR from perfect, but we are certainly more in love with each other, our God, and our children then we ever dreamed we could be.

The second thing would be being a wife and mother. I love being married and having my wonderful husband beside me. He is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. Sometimes I'm not sure how I made it though life before I met him!  Then most of you already know that children change you, they change your priorities and they way you look at life.  I loved my life before kids but I love it even more now.  My girls have taught me so much about myself and my faith. 

The third thing would definitely be Diabetes.  These disease that ravages my daughters body is with me too.  I can't get away from it.  It has forever changed my outlook on life and my faith.  It has brought my husband and I closer together then we had ever thought possible.  Who would of thought that something so horrible could be so good?  

So, with these things; faith, being a wife and mother, and diabetes; I felt I needed to change the name of my blog to reflect this person that I am now and the life that I live.  I sent out a email to those that know me pretty well, and some of my really creative friends, asking them if they had any suggestions for me for a new blog name.  Lord knows, I don't have a whole lot of creativity in me!  I just wasn't blessed with that gift as well as others.  I also did some brainstorming of my own, trying to come up with something original and creative.  The new name may not be totally creative (on my part) since my sister thought of it for me, but I really like it.  It think it fits me well.

Is the suspense killing you yet? Okay, probably not, but hey I had to try!  The new name comes from a verse in Proverbs.  Proverbs 16:24 "Kind words are like honey - sweet to the soul and healthy for the body." (NLT)  So I decided on "Sweet to the Soul"  for my blogs new name.  The sweet describes both my life as a wife and mother, and Diabetes in my life. Soul describes my faith.  Perfect.

How God Chooses the Parents of Children with Type 1 Diabetes

I found this a while ago on a group I am a part of and just had to share. It made me cry but it's so precious. It's taken from the poem "The Special Mother" by Erma Bombeck

Did you ever wonder how parents of children with diabetes are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs his Angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

“Brands, Tim and Heather, a daughter. Patron Saint Audrey”
“Bickleys, Sid and Ellen, a daughter. Patron Saint Caroline”
“Kitchens, David and Laura, a daughter. Patron Saint Lauren”

Finally, He passes a name to an Angel and smiles. “Give them a child with diabetes.” The Angel is curious. “Why this one, God? They are so happy.” “Exactly”, smiles God. “Could I give a child with diabetes to a mother and father who do not know laughter? That would be cruel.”

The Angel asks, “But have they the patience?” “I don’t want them to have too much patience, or they will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair”, God replied. “Once the shock and resentment wears off, they’ll handle it. I watched them today. They have that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a parent.

You see, the child I am going to give them has her own world. They have to make it their world and that’s not going to be easy.” God smiles. “This family is perfect. They have just enough selfishness”. The Angel gasps. “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?” God nods. “If they cannot separate themselves from the child occasionally, they will never survive. Yes, this is the family I will bless with less than perfect. They do not realize it yet, but they are to be envied.

I will permit them to see clearly the things I see…ignorance, cruelty, prejudice…and allow them to rise above them. They will never be alone. I will be at their side every minute of every day of their life because they are doing my work as surely as if they are here by my side.” “And what of their Patron Saint?” asks the Angel, his pen poised in mid-air. God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”