Thursday, September 30, 2010

Pity Party...

I wanted this to be a happy post, about blogging all month and the such.  But to be honest.  I had a really bad day.  Circumstances in my life have yet again slapped me in the face and slapped me hard.  I have to get back up and keep going but every time it is getting a little harder.

I could probably handle it if I wasn't dealing with diabetes on top of it all.  I am really at a lost for words.  I don't if I should be upset, mad, angry, frustrated or whatever emotion you can think of.  I have taken it to God numerous times only to get a maybe or no.  Then just when I think things might be looking up I get slammed with something else.  Sigh. I'm just not sure why this circumstance can't be resolved.  I take one step forward to take about 20 steps back.  I fight my way back and then it happens all over again.  

Only this time I'm not crying or upset.  I'm a little sad, I guess.  My heart still hurts though.  I wonder if it will always be like this??  Is this just my lot in life?  I see others living pretty normal lives. Right now, mine feels anything but normal.  

I think that is the end of my "pity party".  I feel like I just ramble on and on about it and I have deleted numerous paragraphs so I'm just going to leave it at this.  Thanks again for listening and joining me on this journey.  



7 comments:

Pam said...

I'm so sorry to hear you're in a bad place. Stay strong. <>

Reyna said...

(((HUGS))) I am thinking of you. Things will work out. They have to. Right?

It has been comforting to know you and the girls were blogging right along my side for this past month.

Penny said...

Hey hon - I have faith that all will be well in the end. It will be. Hang on.

Hallie said...

I'm sorry, Heather.

I've read your posts in google reader and can't comment there but wanted to say CONGRATS on a successful NaBloPoMo! And I wanted to tell you that so often in your last posts, I feel exactly what you're saying. It's like you're writing my thoughts. Truly! I understand and often feel the same way myself. I can not wait to meet you and give you a BIG HUG! Hang in there! I keep holding on to the promise that there will be better days and that the Lord has not forgotten or forsaken us - even when it seems really dark and bleak.

Heidi / D-Tales said...

Sending you a BIG HUG! I hope it helps to know that others care! Hang in there!

Kerry, Bob, Joshua & Isabel said...

Heather, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so low. We are all thinking of you and sharing your pain.....try and stay positive though, it will help you get through this difficult patch! Be thankful for the very many wonderful things in your life and stay strong. You can do it! I firmly believe that you get back what you give out - if you feel positive, then positive things will start happening! Send out love, and you'll get love back! Smile at someone in the street and they'll smile back....it'll make you feel good! Laugh with your kids and you'll instantly feel so much better! You are a great Mum and a wonderful, strong person. I know you can get through this rough patch and we are all sending you love and prayers to help you along. Hope you wake up to a better day today :) Love and hugs xxx

Joanne said...

Sending you hugs... sorry life has handed you a big ol' crap sandwich. Hoping and praying for better days to come for you. Hang in there, we all love you!

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