Ack...I knew this day was coming but why now???
This morning Lovebug came up to me with a box of granola bars. She told me she wanted to take them for a snack at preschool but she didn't know how many carbs were in them. (ironically she doesn't go to preschool on Tuesdays) Huh? What did you just say?? You want to know how many carbs are in the granola bars? That is not typically something you hear come out of a 5 year olds mouth! That is the first time she has asked me that.
I showed her how to read the label (even though she can barely read) and where to find the amount of carbs. She then proceeded to look at every box I got into this morning because she wanted to know "How many carbs are in that?"
And then too top it all off, she wanted to put her finger up to the strip all by herself when I tested her. She is typically not interested in this at all. But yet this morning she wanted to do it all by herself and she was pretty dang proud of herself! I believe her exact words were "Cool, Mom. I did it!" Yes baby, you did it. I am so proud of her but at the same time it hurts so much. She shouldn't have to deal with this. She shouldn't have to be so grown up at such a young age.
I knew it was coming though, the awareness part. The wanting to learn and do more on her own. I have been trying to prepare myself the best I can. I am NOT ready for this yet. To top it off, then end of this week is out 2 year Diaversary. This week is hard enough on it's own but this too......*sigh* I don't need this on top of all the other emotions I have surrounding this time of year.
I still haven't decided what to do with all my emotions in dealing with this day. (see my post on Celebrate??) Now all this is in the course of a couple hours! I think I need a nap.....
This morning Lovebug came up to me with a box of granola bars. She told me she wanted to take them for a snack at preschool but she didn't know how many carbs were in them. (ironically she doesn't go to preschool on Tuesdays) Huh? What did you just say?? You want to know how many carbs are in the granola bars? That is not typically something you hear come out of a 5 year olds mouth! That is the first time she has asked me that.
I showed her how to read the label (even though she can barely read) and where to find the amount of carbs. She then proceeded to look at every box I got into this morning because she wanted to know "How many carbs are in that?"
And then too top it all off, she wanted to put her finger up to the strip all by herself when I tested her. She is typically not interested in this at all. But yet this morning she wanted to do it all by herself and she was pretty dang proud of herself! I believe her exact words were "Cool, Mom. I did it!" Yes baby, you did it. I am so proud of her but at the same time it hurts so much. She shouldn't have to deal with this. She shouldn't have to be so grown up at such a young age.
I knew it was coming though, the awareness part. The wanting to learn and do more on her own. I have been trying to prepare myself the best I can. I am NOT ready for this yet. To top it off, then end of this week is out 2 year Diaversary. This week is hard enough on it's own but this too......*sigh* I don't need this on top of all the other emotions I have surrounding this time of year.
I still haven't decided what to do with all my emotions in dealing with this day. (see my post on Celebrate??) Now all this is in the course of a couple hours! I think I need a nap.....
8 comments:
It starts to happen slowly and then all of a sudden you realize they are taking on more and more of their care Heather. It is bittersweet for sure. (((HUGS))) to you for teaching her so well and to Love Bug for wanting to learn more and more about taking good care of her body.
It is hard to let go. But you know her becoming more aware and wanting to help care for herself is a sign of her maturing and a sign of your good teaching. Be proud! ((HUGS))
I cried the first time Lenny asked me "how many carbs are in this". I cried just about every time he asked me to show him where to find how many carbs are in something, for probably a month! I cried the first time he tested his sugar all on his own. He had just turned 4 when he learned to look for the "C-A-R-B" letters and to look straight across from that to find how many carbs are in it, though we havent taught him how to compare it to serving sizes yet. He was also 4 the first time he wanted to test his own blood by himself. He is turning 6 on the 18th of April now, and he now knows how to find how many carbs, proteins, and fats are in anything by looking at the label, can test his own blood sugar with supervision, and knows how to read the urine ketone sticks with minimal difficulties (though we now use the blood ketone meter LOL!). We are now teaching him portion control. I had found out earlier in the school year this year that one of the nurses was teaching him how to bolus himself on his pump (which as soon as I learned about that, I immediately put a stop to it as I feel hes just a bit too young for that yet, and she was understanding on my position with this). He has SUCH a thirst for knowledge, its almost unquenchable! It sucks that our kids have to learn how to do all these things, and be so responsible at such a very young age, but, in the long run, the more we let them, the earlier we teach them, the better off they will be.
I'm sorry this makes you sad. I don't remember feeling this way but I understand why you would. I really do think it's a great thing though. I think we want them to be independent - age appropriate independent. I'm always happy when Caleb makes another step forward in his care because it's at his pace and it's natural. I find comfort that by the time he needs to know everything, he will.
I know you know all that and it doesn't take away the valid emotions you are feeling. Just wanted to let you know that I'm high-fiving Lovebug! :)
Those moments are touching for sure. I noted this morning a backwards entry in my youngest type 1's blood glucose lobook, as we discussed record keepiong with our oldest D. Our six year old took it to heart and attempted to write down her reading. It made me kinda sad, and proud at the same time. Cheers
When Joshua (2 years old) grabed the meter and said no mommy me do I did cry too... I think 1/2 for the fact that he was growing up and 1/2 for the fact that he had to do it at all knowing hed be doing the rest of his life. Big hugs~
2 years. crikey. you are doing an amazing job. we are coming up to 1 yr and im burnt out (not the first time either !) how awesome when they want to learn the things for themselves. my 6 yr old (big bro to the d-child) has taken an interest in looking up the big-long-c-word on the packets and reading off the numbers to me. its natural in a home where theres diabetes and thats what you do - ykwim? thats just w h a t y o u d o. its the emotions attached to those acts thats hard.
It's an emotional rollercoaster ride, isn't it?
But you have to admit...it's pretty impressive. She's listening. Obviously you're doing a great job. : )
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