I wasn't prepared

This morning started out like most mornings.  I got up at 5:30.  Got myself around and my hubby got up at 6am. I got the girls up at 6:30.  The girls fooled around, like they do most mornings and I was yelling at them to get ready because I was running a little behind and I didn't have time to help them out this morning.  They actually did pretty good, except for the fighting. It happens with 3 girls around the house all trying to get ready in the morning.

We got breakfast and were finally on track.  I was ready to get out the door to drop Lovebug off to school.  I turned around and looked at her and she had her pants pulled down a bit messing with her site.(which is on her bottom)  I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was hooking herself up because she forgot earlier.  Great.  That means she didn't get her breakfast insulin and is going to end up with a really HIGH blood sugar in about and hour and a half.

When I got to school I explained what happened to her teacher and told her she might have to send her down to the office to get bolused for her snack today.  As I expected, I received a call around snack time and it was the Secretary.  Lovebug was 420.  I expected it and instructed her to give her a correction bolus and not bolus for the snack since she goes to recess right after. I asked her what Dexie was saying as far as arrows, I wanted to know what direction her blood sugar was trending.  Of course Dexie was ???  Seriously Dexie?  Right now? At school?  I explained we get ??? on Dexie every once in a while and to just keep a close eye on her since it wasn't working.

I got another call from Lovebug's teacher about an hour later.  She was up to 480.  Okay, great. I really should have bolused her for her snack but there is that little thing called hind-site.  Then an hour later it was lunch time.  Got a call from the secretary that she was 319 but arrow was down on Dexie.  I instructed her to just give insulin for the carbs and no correction since she was heading down already.  Of course Dexie was 100+ points off so I had the secretary calibrate Dexie, but Dexie was greedy and wanted 2 bg's not just one.  Then as she was actually bolusing Lovebug for lunch and the meter remote for the pump gave that nice warning.  "Bolus cancelled, move devices closer together."  So I had to talk the secretary through looking through the bolus history to see if she had actually received her bolus.  She had received it, which is usually the case but had to make sure. I didn't want a repeat of breakfast!

Five minutes later the phone rings AGAIN.  School name was on the caller id.  I almost wanted to answer the phone with "What is wrong now??"  I didn't though.  The secretary said the lunch lady had sent Lovebug back down to the office.  She her site was falling off.  WONDERFUL.  I was getting ready to tell them I would be right up to put a new one in when the secretary told me that the office assistant said if I could walk her through it on the phone she would be comfortable doing it.  Really?  I was pleasantly surprised but she explained to me that her mom has Type 1 and she had helped her with site changes before so she was okay doing it.  She just said her moms looked a little different.  I walked her through it on the phone and Lovebug even helped her out.  It went really smoothly and I didn't receive any more phone calls the rest of the day.

To say the least I was just a nervous wreck all morning.  I knew this could happen but all of this in the same day?  Sheesh.  I just wasn't ready for it.  And on a Monday to boot.  I seriously don't know how all you moms out there who have had your T1 kids in school for a while do it!  I just wanted to run to school and bring her home for the rest of the day!  Even though I knew that would not be good for her. Lovebug just loves going to school and I knew unless she was really sick she would not want to come home.  I just wasn't prepared for the whole emotional part of it.  Why does this make me so emotional?  I just wanted to cry. Why is it so hard to send them to school?  Even when I know that she is in really good hands.

I guess it's probably just my motherly instinct, right?  I don't want to say that I worry when ever she is with someone else, but I do.  I don't want to but I still do.  It's hard. It's just plain hard.  Hard to let someone else be there to comfort her and "fix" her up.

I know those of you with kiddo's in school understand what I am talking about.  Rather you have a good situation at school or a not so great one.  Despite all my worry and fears we are very blessed to have wonderful, caring staff at our school.  I am just simply blown away by how much they have gone out of their way for her and how much they truly care for Lovebug.  Words can not express my gratitude for the staff there.  I just want to give them all big hugs and a HUGE thank you because if they only knew how hard it is to send her to school in the first place.

September 10

Many years ago September 10th didn't mean much to me.  Now it means a lot, in more way the one.

Ten years ago, on September 10th,  I went to a county fair to hear  Michael W. Smith in concert. (a Christian artist for those of you whom haven't heard of him)  It was awesome praise and worship music.  Perfect timing considering what would come to pass less then 12 hours later.  That night and the next day are days that I will never forget. They will be etched in my mind forever.

Fast forward 8 years and September 10th meant something else.  Something bittersweet.  It is Lovebug's pump start day.  It was in 2009 and just 5 short months after her diagnosis.  The very next week we walked in our 1st JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes.  Needless to say, September 2009 was a really hard month for me.

Fast forward again another couple years to this year and we have yet another "milestone".  It was 5 months ago on the 10th the Princess was diagnosed.  And here we are again, exactly one week away from walking in our 3rd JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes. But this year we aren't just walking for Lovebug.  We are walking for Princess too.

Add to the fact that Lovebug started Kindergarten last week and all the emotions that go along with sending a child with diabetes to school and I guess you could say I am a bit of an emotional roller coaster.  My moods swing all day long and its hard not just on me but on the whole family.  I try to stuff it in and not show it in front of the kids (and sometimes my hubby) but it doesn't always work because when Diabetes isn't cooperating and I can get easily frustrated.

So I take these couple weeks day to day and try to come to grips with Princess diagnosis as well as everything else life throws at me.  It's hard but we are surviving.  I love the quote my good friend Hallie had on her blog a few days back.

"It never gets easier. You just get better."

That could not be more true when it comes to diabetes....I know it won't every get easier but I am ready to get better!

5 Question Friday

I have really liked this idea that I first saw over at Lora's blog.  I was occasionally posting it on Saturdays because I like to do D-Feast Friday.  But after some thought, (and my lack of having time to cook lately) I have decided to swap them in and out. So you will get either 5 Question Fridays or D-Feast Fridays.  I thought  that will give you all a chance to know the other side of me, not just the Type 1 side of my life!

So here it goes! 

1. What ringtone do you have on your cell phone?   "The Entertainer".  I just love that tune! 

2. What is your favorite memory from this summer? I have a lot of favorite memories, but I think it would have to be going to Thirty-One's National Conference.  I got to be away from diabetes and and just got to be me for 4 days!  Plus I did get to meet up with a couple of  D Mama's Misty and Hallie, which was awesome!  

3. Paper books or ebooks?  Since I don't have an e-reader yet I am going to have to say paper, but when I get an e-reader I am sure I will change my mind! 

4. If you could have one home upgrade what would it be and why?  Oh, this one is EASY.  My kitchen!  My kitchen is very small and not functional at all.  (did I mention that there is NO dishwasher, well my hands do the washing but no machine!) I would add on to my house putting about 4 to 6 feet on the back and make it a good size kitchen with better appliances, lots of storage space, make it uber organized and  plenty of room for me to cook with the girls.  

5. When was your first serious boyfriend? Not until high school. I kinda dated a guy before him and that didn't work out very well, considering we never went out on a real date. I dumped him for one of his friends (or maybe he dumped me, who knows. Honestly I could care less) That guy did treat me pretty good and we date for about 8 months. It got serious until I realized we were going down totally different paths in life. He wanted one and I wanted the other. Plus his dad told him he could do better.  Needless to say that one ended bad.  The good that came out of dating those two guys was I knew what I DIDN'T want in a guy and I knew the right one would come to me and I wouldn't have to go after him.  I was right and I married my soul mate and best friend 2 years after high school and we have been married for 13 years.  :) 

The One about the transmitter, the charger and the baby monitor

A couple weeks ago we started having issues with Princess's CGM.  We had been having problems here and there but they came to an exasperating high two weeks ago.

One night it just quit working.  We got "weak signal" and then "lost sensor".  I would start it back up and again we would get "weak signal" then "lost sensor".  I didn't think too much of it, shut it off and figured I would make it through one night without. No biggie.

Then it happened again the next night. Again, annoying but no big deal.  I shut the sensor off all night and just turned it back on in the morning.  Now it was starting to do the same thing during the day.  We would get the "weak signal" alarm and then the "lost sensor".  I called Medtronic to let them know what was going on and see if they had any solutions that I had not already tried.  They thought it might be the transmitter (we have had issues with the transmitter before) and it was still under warranty so they sent a new one.

I was ecstatic when it came!  I was ready to have the CGM fully working after 5 days of on and off signals. I charged the transmitter for 8 hours like they said, put a new sensor in Princess's arm and waited for the two hour warm up to get it going.  Well, that never happened.  It never even gave me a chance to enter a bg to start the sensor up.  It went directly to "weak signal" and "lost sensor".  I admit at this point I was starting to get angry.  After 5 nights of not much sleep I was tired and it showed in my attitude. I really just wanted it to WORK!! I was frustrated and discouraged.

We have never had issues like this with Lovebug's Dexie and she has been using it for over a year.  We had a couple bad sensors but NOTHING like this.  I decided to wait another 24 hours and try it again.  We did get signals on and off during the day, so that was helpful, I guess. In the mean time I did everything I could think of to get the CGM to work.  We changed the tape that we were using to hold the transmitter on.  I tried having her sleep with the pump out of her pump pouch so it was closer to the transmitter.  I re-read the entire manual on inserting and using the CGM.  I thought maybe something would catch my eye and I was just doing something wrong that I hadnt' been doing before.  Honestly, we had had really good luck with the CGM up until now and I hadn't changed anything until the sensor started getting all these weak signals and lost sensors.

I ended up calling my fellow D-Mama, Misty and talked to her about the sensor and see if she had any ideas of why it wasn't working after getting a new transmitter. It looked like I was doing everything right.  I was at a lost, until she started talking about the charger for the transmitter.  What she was saying made sense.  Maybe the transmitter wasn't getting charged enough and the charger was the faulty piece of equipment.  I went with that and called Medtronic (again)  to explain what was going on.  Their customer service was great, as usual, and they had a new charger to us the next day.

So, we took the transmitter off Princess's arm and let it charge for another 8 hours after we received the new charger.  I was confident this would work and we would have a working sensor again that night. I even put a new senor in just to make sure that is wasn't the sensor for some reason.  I wanted to take every precaution I could to make sure it worked.  I hooked her all up and waited for the warm  up period to be done and NOTHING!!!  Weak signal and lost sensor yet again.  I was so frustrated.  Seriously, I just wanted to sleep at night without worrying so much!! It had been over a week at this point.  Again I shut the sensor off for the night and started it back up in the morning.

The next morning was worse, at first anyway.  I started the sensor up and it immediately went to lost sensor.  What the heck is going on???   I shut the sensor off, turned it back on and linked the sensor back up. This time it at least went to warm up period.  We were on our way up north to my in-laws house for the day and I was NOT happy the CGM wasn't working.  Much to my surprise, on the way up (in less then two hours) I got a "meter bg" signal.  Holy smokes!!  It actually wanted a start up bg!!  Woo Hoo!  The CGM worked perfectly all day!  No weak signals and it was accurate.

We got home and put the girls to bed. Then guess what?  That damn weak signal and lost sensor was back, AGAIN!!!  At this point I was a livid and I don't get upset very easily but the darn thing had been working all day! What in the world was going on??

Once again I was on the phone to Medtronic's helpline and they were even at a lost.  They ran over a long checklist of things and I had done all of them. The only thing they could say was that we weren't using the stomach area for her sensor like they suggest. (even though the sensor does work on other area's of the body, it's because all the clinical trial information was from use in the stomach)  As a last resort they thought it might be the pump (or receiver) and decided to replace the pump with a new one but did tell me that was their last option. After that they had done everything they could do on their end.  I understood.  They had been great and I knew they were trying everything they could to get the CGM to work properly.  Because I called on a Holiday weekend and the next day was Labor day I wouldn't receive the new pump until Tuesday.  I was okay with that, but seriously just praying the new pump was going to fix the problem.

Monday night, like the crazy woman I am, tried yet again to get the CGM to work.  It was still working on and off during the day and I was hopeful that maybe I would do some small thing different and we would get a working CGM.  Yeah, no luck. Within 10 minutes of putting Princess to bed we had a lost sensor, again. (now here comes the good part!)

As I was sitting next to her bed, more discouraged then ever,  I remembered something the customer service rep had said the night before. She had asked if we used a baby monitor in the house. I said yes, of course, so we could here the CGM alarm at night.  She asked when we started using it and I said that we purchased a new on right before we got Princess's pump back in May.  Apparently they can interfere with the signals, on occasion.  I knew it wasn't the monitor since it the CGM had been working just fine up until now.

I got to thinking, as I was looking at the baby monitor.  We have the most problems at night so maybe something upstairs was interfering with it.  Or something one of the neighbors were using, just at night?  Really a lot of things were running through my mind about what was interfering with it.  Not that I was sure that was it, I did kinda think it was the pump.

Anyway, I decided to try changing the channel on the baby monitor just to see if by some crazy chance it would work. (sense they had said something about the baby monitor the night before) I linked the sensor again and waited up there to see if it would work. I wasn't very hopeful but after 5 minutes I got the "Meter BG" and checked her bg and entered the number.  Then I waited.  I waited to get the weak signal and lost sensor, It never happened!!!!  The damn thing was WORKING!!  I cautiously went down stairs and waited to hear the CGM alarm for the weak signal.  30 minutes passed.  I checked it, still working.  1 hour passed and still working.  2 hours, still working.  Are you kidding me?? I have gone (almost) two weeks at this point and after all this the solution was a easy as changing the channel on the baby monitor?!  Oh my word!!  I couldn't decide if I wanted to pull my hair out, beat my head against the wall for not thinking of it sooner or be excited about it! Could it really had been that simple?  Oh yes, It was that simple.

The CGM worked great, all night, and her new pump came that next morning.  I almost didn't switch them over and called Medtronic back to tell them that it wasn't the pump after all. After thinking about it all day I decided to just keep the new pump, just in case there was something wonky about it and that contributed to the problem.  Might as well cover all of our bases!

Funny thing was, the same day we got the new pump and after I had discovered that it was the baby monitor interfering after all, my friend and fellow D Mama, Misty sent me a message wondering if it might be the baby monitor?  I laughed out loud when I read that!  I had to call her and tell her.  I told her she must be psychic!

I am happy to say that the CGM as been working great for the past 3 days!  Better be anyway now that we have a new transmitter, charger and pump!  I have to add that through it all Medtronic's customer service was amazing and I was very impressed. They seriously went above and beyond to help me find a solution to the problem never questioning me or what I was doing or giving me a hard time about anything.  They were wonderful and I am so grateful. It made the whole process just a little easier knowing they were honestly doing all they could.

Surviving School

I have dreaded this day for the past couple of years. Lovebug's first day of school. I remember thinking when she was diagnosed that we would probably have her on a pump by then and off of shots. Realizing how much better control we could get with pumping, it happened just a little over 5 months after Lovebug was diagnosed.

School was only a finite idea in my mind at that point.  Mostly because Lovebug's older sister, Peanut had just started Kindergarten.  As time went by and I learned more about my T1 kiddo going to school, I started to dread it, not look forward to it as I did with Peanut.

I got a little taste of what it would be like to have a d-kid in school last year.  We had to train the preschool teachers on a few things, but not everything because Lovebug was only at school for a couple hours.  When I started working on our 504 plan for this year a few weeks ago and I got a little overwhelmed.

How much do you tell them?  Everything? Do you scare the staff so they don't want to make a mistake?  I decided to tell them what they needed to know and nothing more.  Just enough to make them overwhelmed but not enough to "scare" them.  I want them to be comfortable around Lovebug, not handle her with kids gloves.

I worked for hours and piecing together a 504 plan that worked for us.  I found a lot of them on my fellow D Mamas blogs.  It was a great resource.  It helped give me a starting point.  Without that starting point I am sure I would have been LOST.  I felt lost anyway, even with all the help.

Then came all the instructions sheets on how to operate the pump, how to check blood sugar, how to operate Dexie and what to do in case of a high or low blood sugar.  Then I had to come up with a schedule of when I wanted her blood sugar checked during the day.  And with every day being a little different we basically have a different schedule everyday.  I also had to decided at what blood sugar levels  I wanted the school staff to notify me.  It seriously makes my head spin just thinking about it all again.

Then all of this got me thinking back to when Peanut (our oldest and only non D-kid) started school.  I sent her off with out a care.  Yes, it was a little bittersweet because she was growing up but I really enjoyed watching her blossom and grow.  I think watching her learn to read was one of my favorite things.  While I am very grateful that Peanut does not have diabetes I am reminded how much I miss the other two NOT having Type 1.  It reminds me of what life could have been like for Lovebug and Princess.  That part weighs heavy on my heart strings.

Needless to say, I was a wreck sending Lovebug to school this morning.  Would the staff actually follow everything in the 504?  Would they do the right thing if she went low? I tried to keep shoving the what if's out of my head and just be happy for her.  She was so excited!!

I went in and double checked with Mrs. L to make sure she was comfortable and ready. I  went over her blood sugar check schedule and gave her the instructions for Dexie. (which I had forgotten about the week before! oops.)  Lovebug was in her seat and waving good bye.  She was ready to get on with her day and I was ready to cry.  I have mention that I also LOVE the fact that Mrs L had laminated all of the instructions I had given her and they were hanging on a ring right by the door where Lovebug puts her diabetes bag.  Mrs L is great!

I waited all morning for a phone call.  I assumed I would get one around snack time. Nope, no phone call.  Then I knew I would get one at lunch and sure enough, Mrs. R (our secretary) called so I could walk her through dosing her with the pump.  I was almost shocked when she told me Lovebug's blood sugar was 190. I fully expected it to be higher!  I was very relieved it wasn't though.  Mrs. R only covered part of the carbs in Lovebug's lunch (since recess is right after lunch)  and away Lovebug went to lunch.

Mrs. L called me later in the afternoon to let me know that Lovebug had gone low. (I thought to myself, great...the first day and we are already dealing with lows)  Needless to say we figured out she hadn't eaten all of her lunch!  She has a lunch pail with two sections in it and I put her cucumbers and peaches in the bottom  section.  I didn't have the peaches covered for lunch because they were supposed to be her "exercise snack" for recess. That backfired since it was apparent Lovebug forgot they were in there! I think we might have to get a lunch pail with only one pocket.

Mrs L. told me she gave her two Starburst and then a granola bar, just like I had instructed her to do.  It was perfect.  She said Dexie said 74 and arrow up.  I reminded her Dexie can lag behind and that the arrow up was the most important thing at this point.  I was so impressed they followed my instructions to the tee!  It was wonderful!!

Lovebug's first day of school went off with out much of a hitch.  I was disappointed she missed Music because of the low bg but that wasn't her fault.  Stupid diabetes.  At least now I won't be so nervous when she goes back to school on Friday!